What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

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X Jokes More X Jokes

Which two letters on the keyboard are the furthest from each other?

X and V. There's a C between them.

Why did x and y break up?

They couldn't function together.

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

When I drop a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week.

Whats common between the world trade centres and genders?

There were once two but now they're too offensive to talk about.

G Jokes More G Jokes

What's the capital of Greece?

The G

What did 50 cent's grandma say to him when he gave her a hand woven scarf for Mother's Day?

G u knit

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why shouldn't you wear a watch on your belt?

It'd be a waste of time.

Which area of Zelda: Ocarina of time uses the most resources?

The long long farm.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Why did the guy at the trainyard get struck by lightning?

He was an excellent conductor

How do you know if a guy was in the Navy SEALs?

Don't worry, he'll tell you.

Z Jokes More Z Jokes

Why are X and Y fascist letters?

Because they're not Z's!

What does the beginning of the German alphabet start with?

Not Z.

Y Jokes More Y Jokes

How do alien hunters keep from oversleeping?

They SETI their alarm-y

What is the plural of y'all?

What is the plural of y'all -Y'alls -All y'all.

O Jokes More O Jokes

What did the O say to the 8?

Nice belt.

Why did you leave me here all alone?

Where o where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found some one You met a zombie and pblblthpth you were gone.

R Jokes More R Jokes

What's a pirrrate's favorite letterrr?

R?" NOOO!!! It's the Sea!!!

What has an R at the beginning, a T at the end, and EPOS in the middle?

Most of the jokes in this subreddit.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

Why did the little boy flush a pencil down the toilet?

Because it was a Number 2.

What did the ceiling fan say?

YEEEEAAAAH! GO CEILING! YOU NUMBER ONE BABY! WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!

N Jokes More N Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What is dark and hairy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside, starts with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it?

A coconut

P Jokes More P Jokes

Why was the physicist being so careful not to insult his colleague's choice of generalized coordinates and momentum?

He was just minding his Ps and Qs.

How can we keep our school Clean?

Student: By Staying at home.

M Jokes More M Jokes

Who's Leonardo DiCaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character?

Oscar im so sorry

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

T Jokes More T Jokes

What do you call a doctor who only swims with his t on?

A Sturgeon

When using the equation Y=1-T to understand how citizens react to changes in taxation...what happens when T&gt1?

Alot of T gets dumped in a harbor

99 Jokes More 99 Jokes

Which is the most eco-friendly subreddit?

Because 99% of its products are made from recycled material.

What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?

A receding hare line.

D Jokes More D Jokes

What "D" (dimension) should Marilyn Monroe's movies always be shown in?

Blon-D

What do French stoners smoke?

Oui-d

Q Jokes More Q Jokes

What did capital 'O' say to capital 'Q'?

Hey, put that thing back in your trousers!

What is the best letter who represent a man?

A favorite joke of my mother) The Q because is a big zero with a small tail.

Lottery Jokes More Lottery Jokes

Why did the Greenlander get so angry when he didn't win the lottery?

Because he was inuit to win it

What did the electrical engineer do when she found out that she hadn't won the lottery?

She soldered on.

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What happens when u ask a fake logic fan... What is your favorite logic album?

Their response Flexicution

What do u give a woman who has everything?

Penacilin

W Jokes More W Jokes

What do you call a word with two W's and one K?

Awkward.

How do you do it w/ 4 kids?

Hubs: With the door locked. Me: She means how do we manage...but yeah.

K Jokes More K Jokes

What did a confused Mexican alphabet say?

K

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

V Jokes More V Jokes

What do you call a long vegetable that flies in a V?

Asparagoose

What is the question?

Does Wagner begin with a "V"

H Jokes More H Jokes

How can I trust you again?

H: She meant nothing to me! M: Not that. You bought lite sour cream!

Where'd you get those shoes?

Me:"I've had these for years. Is that a new grill I saw " H:"Nope just cleaned the old one" *Marriage lies

J Jokes More J Jokes

What is the radio operator's favourite romantic story?

R and J

What's the difference between U and I?

J

Predict Jokes More Predict Jokes

What would you name someone who can predict when people sneeze?

Nostrildamus

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible