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What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

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X Jokes More X Jokes

Who invented the equation?

A X-pert

What do gamers who switch consoles and mathematicians have in common?

They both have problems finding x.

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats a baby's favourite temperature?

Womb tempertaure

Whats the difference between cats and dogs?

Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

G Jokes More G Jokes

How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the G.

How'd you find out?

G:"I'm on both."

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time is it when five dogs are chasing a cat down the street?

Five after one.

Why are promise rings 1/10th the price of engagement rings?

They only work 10% of the time.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Why is it so difficult for women to find a man who is sensitive, caring, and good looking?

All of those guys already have boyfriends.

What did the guy say to the funny drug dealer?

You really crack me up dude!" The drug dealer responds with: "How much "

Z Jokes More Z Jokes

Why are X and Y fascist letters?

Because they're not Z's!

Why aren't you mowing the lawn?

Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight

Y Jokes More Y Jokes

Why did Ally refuse to do her homework, when all she had left was to square the x and y axis?

Cause Allies don't like axis powers

How do you spell candy with two letters?

C and Y

O Jokes More O Jokes

What has two O's and fires?

A double-vowel shotgun.

Why are jack-o-lanterns inbred?

Because they pump-kin

R Jokes More R Jokes

What starts with r and ends with d?

Removed

Where r my legal briefs?

Paralegal *hands him his boxers* Judge: lol Jury: We're hung Judge: ha! DA: Balls in your court Judge: DO MORE!

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

What do I do?

Someone else yells "Call 911!" The blonde yells back "What's the number "

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

N Jokes More N Jokes

What is the formula for water?

Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O. Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.

Why do abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxy &amp z hate hanging out with the letter n?

Because n always has to be the center of attention.

P Jokes More P Jokes

How do you foil a plan?

P + l)(a + n)=pa+pn+la+ln

Why did the Soviet Union fail?

Too much Stalin'. Yeah it's bad but it made me giggle when I thought of it...

M Jokes More M Jokes

Why was the potato chip angry?

Because he was salty

Why am I just so naturally funny?

Because my life is a joke. Dont worry Im not scuicidal

T Jokes More T Jokes

What kind of shoe does Mr. T wear?

T-shoes!

What is dark and hairy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside, starts with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it?

A coconut

99 Jokes More 99 Jokes

What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?

A receding hare line.

How many French horn players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

100, 1 to screw it in and 99 to say how they could do it better.

D Jokes More D Jokes

What does Brown Santa say?

Gifts only for little girls with A's, B's and C's because the other ones already have the D's.

How do you get a girl from the Midwest to "s" your "d"?

Dip it in ranch.

Q Jokes More Q Jokes

What is the best joke you have heard that was on the end of a Popsicle stick?

Here is mine: Q: Where do snowmen dance --------- A: At the snowball. Best joke at the end of a Popsicle stick

How do you get a baby into a shoebox?

A. With a blender. Q. How do you get a baby out of a shoebox? A. With a straw.

Lottery Jokes More Lottery Jokes

What did Helen Keller say when she won the lottery?

Uunnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg!

Who's there! Charles! Charles who?

Charles your luck on the lottery!

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

Why did u jump off that bridge?

My friend did it too "Well if your friend jumped off a bridge would u " Yes. I literally just said that

How do u tell the population of a small native village?

Throw a bunch of pocket change in the middle of town. How do u tell who is the richest person in that village? Find the person who gathered the most change.

W Jokes More W Jokes

Why did the worker at the M&ampM factory get fired?

He threw out the W's

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&ampM factory?

She threw away all of the W's.

K Jokes More K Jokes

What did the frozen scientist say?

It's fine, I'm 0K

What's the most useless thing about a knife?

The 'K'

V Jokes More V Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

When birds fly in a 'V' formation, one arm of the V is usually longer than the other. Do you know why that is?

There are more birds on that side.

H Jokes More H Jokes

Why isn't he responding to us?

I'm annoyed H I A N N O Y E D I M D A D

Where's the middle of nowhere?

It's three letters in. "H".

J Jokes More J Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What is the radio operator's favourite romantic story?

R and J

Predict Jokes More Predict Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What would you name someone who can predict when people sneeze?

Nostrildamus