What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

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X Jokes More X Jokes

What did the pirate say as he was sailing through Jamaica?

X marks the pot, matey.

What is it called when you mix Alcohol and Literature?

Tequila Mockingbird. (X-post)

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats a zombie's favorite drink?

Egg noggin.

Whats the difference between reddit and 9gag?

3 hours, but it takes 1 day for it to get to Hot

G Jokes More G Jokes

What ten letter word starts with g-a-s?

Automobile.

What has an N, an I, two G's, an E, and an R and can be used to describe people of a certain color?

GINGER.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How does a witch tell time?

With a witchwatch.

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What happens when you mock the host of Diners, Drive-In's, and Dives?

The guy gets fierious.

Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Z Jokes More Z Jokes

Why don't X and Z get along with Y?

Because Y so serious

What's the best part about Dragon Ball Z?

Find out in the next episode of Dragon! Ball! Z!

Y Jokes More Y Jokes

What did Muhammad Ali tell ISIS?

IsIs Pretty soon y'all gonna be WasWas!

What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?

A hole-y Cow!

O Jokes More O Jokes

Why is the O in Opossum silent?

Because it's playing dead.

What's the difference between O and Q?

One had to P.

R Jokes More R Jokes

Why couldn't R get to P?

He had to wait in a Q!

Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie?

It was rated R.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

What did the man say who couldn't add the same number to itself?

I can't even...

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

N Jokes More N Jokes

What is the only word in an English dictionary spelled incorrectly?

Incorrectly is the only word spelled I n c o r r e c t l y

How did Canada name their country?

They picked random letters from a hat. C, eh N, eh D, eh

P Jokes More P Jokes

What begins with P and ends with orn?

Popcorn, of course!

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

M Jokes More M Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What does The Rock said to his Girl Friend?

Im Stoned

T Jokes More T Jokes

What is a ghost pirate's favourite letter?

Boo! T

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

99 Jokes More 99 Jokes

How many black metalheads does it take to change a light bulb?

100. 1 to change the light bulb and the other 99 to complain about how the old light bulb was much better.

How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?

100; 1 to do it, and 99 to say "I could do that."

D Jokes More D Jokes

Why are wedding dresses white?

So the dishwasher matches the stove.

What do biology students do when they do poorly on a test?

They bio-D-grade.

Q Jokes More Q Jokes

How do you get from Iran to Iraq without moving?

You switch the 'n' with 'q'.

What do pessimists use... Q: What do pessimists use to wash their clothes?

Deterrent.

Lottery Jokes More Lottery Jokes

How amazing is it that nobody in the same Kingdom as Cinderella, had the same sized feet as her?

She should play the lottery too!

What did Helen Keller say when she won the lottery?

Uunnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg!

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

How does a poor man watch TV?

With binoculars. u know, he has to watch whatever the neighbours are watching.

Why did your car just spin around in circles?

Motorist: I was making a U-turn and changed my mind.

W Jokes More W Jokes

Why did the blonde get thrown out of the M & M factory?

A. She kept throwing out all the W's.

Why was the blonde fired from the M&ampM factory?

She threw out all the W's.

K Jokes More K Jokes

What did a confused Mexican alphabet say?

K

What did the frozen scientist say?

It's fine, I'm 0K

V Jokes More V Jokes

When you see geese flying to warmer a climate ever wonder why one side of the V is longer?

It's because that side has more geese.

What am I?

I start with a v and every woman has one. She can even use me to get what she wants. What am I? I'll post the answer in 10 minutes.

H Jokes More H Jokes

What does the 'H' in Jesus 'H' Christ stand for?

Haploid

What do the letters G, I, T, N, H, N & O have in common?

Nothing

J Jokes More J Jokes

What is the radio operator's favourite romantic story?

R and J

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

Predict Jokes More Predict Jokes

What do ghosts use to predict the future?

Horror-scopes!

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible