How does a witch tell time?

With a witchwatch.

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Why are pirates so bad at telling jokes?

Instead of 'knock knock', they say, 'Arrr you there!'

How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday?

Tell her a joke on a Monday!

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Why do you hate me?

Me any time someone tells me I have to sleep on a futon

Why did the late man stand on the clock?

He wanted to be on time.

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What would you get if you crossed a witch with a famous movie director?

Steven Spellberg!

Why dont witches wear underwear?

So they can get a good grip on the broomstick