570+ Funny S Jokes - Curious Supply

Supperman. Or his kid Soup-erman. One just gets to dinner on time and the other is really good and making soup. E: I thought of it in it in a dream so thats why its not so good

Whats the difference between a guy who has a new Mercedes and a guy who has an old Mercedes?

The guy who has a new Mercedes is rich. The guy who has an old Mercedes has been rich for a longer time.

How does an Alabama girl know shes in for a crazy night?

Her daddy says he wants her in bed by ten.

What's black?

Whats black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

Whats the difference between a goat and a kid?

I stopped butchering goats.

Whats the difference between skinny and squat?

I never took a skinny on a girl's chest.

Whats the different between falling from the 10th floor and falling from the 1st floor?

The sound you make 10th floor " AHHHHHHHHH " 1st floor " AHHHHHHHHHH "

Whats the difference between America and Yogurt?

If you leave Yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Whats the best thing Orlando Bloom's ever been in?

Katy Perry

Whats the Difference between a Third-Wave Feminist and a Pencil?

The pencil has a point

How do you fit an elephant into a Safeway bag?

You take the s out of safe and the f out of way!

Whats does a fisherman and a teen have in common?

They both fiddle with a rod

Whats the difference between a dog and a fox?

About 8 pints

Whats the difference between a man and a government bond?

The bond matures.

What did the squirrel say when it saw the acorn tree cut down and taken away?

Thats nuts

Whats an American cops favourite shot?

A black rushing

Whats black and hurts when you get it thrown in your face?

A Piano.

Whats the difference between English Breakfast and Irish Breakfast tea?

One is still in the EU.

Whats long and black?

The unemployment line

Whats yellow and lives off dead beetles?

Yoko Ono.

Whats another meaning for a women?

Finger puppet

Whats the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their knees

Whats Asuma sensei's favorite jutsu?

Ninja art.. CAMEL CRUSH!

Whats the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut?

About 3 weeks.

Whats the difference between a shower thought and a joke?

I don't know you tell me.

Whats BNAG?

Its bang out of order!

What begins with S, ends with X and will change your life?

Smallpox

Whats the fastest way to cut down a tree?

Suh Dude

What begins with an "s", ends with a "x" and leaves a guy blown away?

Semtex.

Whats the most stupid thing you've seen a Bernie Sanders supporter do?

Vote for Bernie in a primary.

How do you put an elephant in a safeway bag?

I don't know, how?: Take the S away from "safe" and the F out of "way.": But there's no F in way.:

Whats's better than roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

What did one galaxy say to the Lagoon Nebula?

Whats up M8?

Whats the most politically divided animal?

The polar bear..

Whats the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

I don't know I just fly the drone.

Whats a Muslims favorite cologne?

GERMANY!!!!

Why did Kesha switch "$" back to an "s"?

Because she no longer has a dollar to her name.

Whats a printer's favorite sandwich?

A paper jam sandwhich

Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are $1.99 deer nuts are under a buck

How can your make 7 even?

Take away the "S"

Whats the closest a Mexican will ever be to happiness?

The border.

Whats bigger than your balls?

The moon

Whats the difference between Paul Walker and Tiger Woods?

Tiger Woods has a better driver.

Whats a sugar free drink's favorite abbreviation?

0mg

Why did the student fail the exam?

Spent too much time figuring out the Engels, so he didnt get the Marx.... thats what he gets for Stalin

Whats the difference between news of the US elections and Madeleine McCann?

News of the elections is getting old.

Whats an owl say?

Quien?

Whats the most dyslectic part of Asia?

Croatia!

Whats the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I don't pay 100$ to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

What s the difference between an ostridge?

It can neither fly

Whats the difference between a zippo and a hippo?

One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

Whats the difference between a house cat and a polecat?

How much their husbands make

Whats Dj Khaleds Favourite Jetski Brand?

Kawasakey

Whats the currency of North Korea?

The NoDinar

Whats the difference between a noose and a leash?

How high you tie it on a tree.

Whats the difference between a hospital and a terrorist stronghold?

I dunno I just fly the drone.....

Whats white blue and rectangular?

A fridge with a denim jacket on.

Whats all of this fuss about reposts?

I haven't seem any all year! (It's 12:00 NZST)

Whats the first thing you do when you spill something on your keyboard?

Try to disable sticky keys.

Whats the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Whats the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face before

Whats you favorite Christmas joke?

I know this is an unorthodox post, but, I would love to hear your favorites!

Whats the devil's favorite meal?

Fillet of soul

Whats the difference between Congress and a US mint?

One of them makes sense!

Whats the worst the thing about having to attend a funeral?

The guest of honor always shows up late!

Whats the funniest joke you know?

You.

Whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

I've never had a garbanzo bean in my mouth.

Whats a Mexicans favorite type basketball?

Juan on Juan

Whats the difference between Pink Floyd and Princess Diana?

Nothing, their last big hit was the wall.

Whats the best part of living in Switzerland?

Im not too sure either but the flags a big plus.

Whats the difference between a baby and a 10g of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldnt let a bag full of cocaine fall off the window

Whats the longest running Canadian joke?

Terry Fox

Whats a Pirates favorite letter?

Ya'll think it's the Arrr but it be the Ceeee

Whats the best thing about duct tape?

It turns NO! NO! NO! into MMM MMM MMM

Whats the most common day to get sick on?

Achoosday

Whats the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

One's really heavy and the others a little lighter!

Whats the only free food you will get from a Nigerian scammer?

Spam.

S Jokes

Whats the name of a bodybuilder whose a fan of the X-Men?

Birthday State of Mind

Whats a ducks favourite drug?

Who's There?

Whats black and isn't working?

Whats blue and slippery?

Whats the difference between a USB and the USA?

Whats the biggest difference between men and women?

Whats Harry Potters favourite way of getting down a hill?

Whats the age of consent in Thailand?

Whats the difference between 8 and negative four?

Whats Rick Grimes' favorite position?

We've Got This Love Thing Down

Whats the best way to stop a runaway horse?

Whats the best way to get over a girl?

Whats the difference between Electricians and Technicians?

Whats the difference between a hippie and a trampoline?

Whats the difference between dynamite and a banana?

Whats the difference between a cat and a comma?

Whats a pirates favourite letter???

Whats an inmates favorite vegetable?

Whats the worst thing to hear when you have explosive diarrhea?

Whats a Joke with no Punchline?

Love Card

Whats the difference between ignorance and apathy?

Who is Superman's brother?