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Whats the worst the thing about having to attend a funeral?

The guest of honor always shows up late!

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S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the difference between a zippo and a hippo?

One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

Whats worse than having to break up with your Japanese girlfriend for the first time?

Her not hearing you, so you drop the bomb a 2nd time.

Attend Jokes More Attend Jokes

Where did the universe attend college?

At the university.

What do University of Miami, Florida State, and University of Florida football fans have in common?

None attended the University of Miami.

Bad Thing Jokes More Bad Thing Jokes

What is the worst thing to happen to an anagrammer?

It is to get West Nile in the stew line.

When would a discount be a bad thing?

Have 3 abortions and get the fourth free.

Funeral Jokes More Funeral Jokes

How many Polish people does it take to be pallbearers at a funeral?

Seven. Six to carry the casket and one to drag the body

What's the difference between saying sorry and apologizing?

You can say sorry at a funeral.

Honor Jokes More Honor Jokes

What's better than honor?

Inner

What's the best/worst dirty joke you know?

In honor of the recent joke trends I ask you what is the dirtiest joke you know?

Guest Jokes More Guest Jokes

What did the host say after her guest complimented her on her tea?

Thanks, it's my special tea.

What did the host serve his guests for The Simpsons marathon night?

Disco Stew!