V Jokes

What am I?

I start with a v and every woman has one. She can even use me to get what she wants. What am I? I'll post the answer in 10 minutes.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Why were the Star Wars made IV, V, VI, I, II, III?

Because in charge of distribution, Yoda was.

Whats the V in DVD stand for?

Cuz if it were lying down it wouldnt make any sense. (first post to reddit, made up this joke today.. be kind)

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

When ducks fly in a V, why is one side of the V longer than the other?

There are more ducks on that side.

When birds fly in a 'V' formation, one arm of the V is usually longer than the other. Do you know why that is?

There are more birds on that side.

When you see geese flying to warmer a climate ever wonder why one side of the V is longer?

It's because that side has more geese.

What do you call a long vegetable that flies in a V?

Asparagoose

What starts and ends with a 'v' and is only one letter?

What is the creepiest letter of the alphabet?

V. Because no matter where you are, any time of any day, no matter what you do, V always follows U.

When you see geese flying in V formation, have you ever noticed that one side of the V is longer than the other?

Well, there's a reason for that. There are more geese on that side.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why is one side of the V always longer than the other when geese are flying south for the winter?

It's because there are more geese on that side.

What is the question?

Does Wagner begin with a "V"

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How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

Depends on what tune the Devil happens to be playing. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

How does Dracula keep fit?

He plays batminton.

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What discovery was the garden's mathematician excited about?

AVOCADO'S NUMBER!

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How do ghosts navigate the ocean?

They use boo-eys.

How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?

You use a pumpkin patch.

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How many letters are in the alphabet during the Christmas Season?

Only 25...because there's Noel.

Why do pirates not know the alphabet?

They always get stuck at "C".

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How do you want your mother-in-law buried or cremated?

Hmm No risk do both.

Why do donuts have holes in the center?

Because the inventor of the donut wanted to give us a whole experience.

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Why did Helen Keller scream?

Her parents left the plunger in the toilet.

Where did the apple go when it's parents died?

To a Bananas foster home.