Parent Jokes

Who is this Rorschach guy?

And why does he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What do you call a phone with no parents?

An Or-phone.

What do you call Bruce Lee's mom when she's making obvious statements?

A parent, Lee.

What Do Bernie Sander Supporters Call Their Parents?

Roommates

What should be done in case of apparent drowning?

Take the parent out of the water

How can you tell that your dog just gave birth?

It is now a parent.

What do you call couples that practice pulling out as a method of contraception?

Parents.

How can you tell the difference between normal and self-raising flour?

One has parents

What kind of parents are see-through?

Transparence!

Why does Neville Longbottom like herbology so much?

Because his parents are vegetables.

What are parents that you can see through?

Transparents

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

Why would two melons in love hate their parents?

Because they cantaloupe. =D.....=).....=='(

Why do parents send their toddlers to the army for daycare?

Because they're sending them to the infantry!

Where did the apple go when it's parents died?

To a Bananas foster home.

Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV?

His parents weren't 18 or older.

Why did Helen Keller scream?

Her parents left the plunger in the toilet.

What do you call a bus driver who helps old people and parents with children on and off the bus?

A stand up driver.

Why was the young strawberry crying?

His parents were in a jam.

Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent?

Because they contain a lot of fowl language.

Why couldn't the baby camel surf the Internet?

Because whenever his parents saw their phone bill they got the hump.

What does a parent say to their boy who keeps missing the toilet?

Urine trouble.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What do you call the parents of a cat?

His PURR-ents

Why does not a forth-grader ever take the bus home?

Because he knew his parents will make him return it.

What do you call people who use the "pull out" method for contraception?

Parents.

Why did Darwin love CSS?

Because children inherit properties from their parents.

What has holes in it, and travels down an alley?

Batman: my parents Riddler: no its a bowling ball! I-im so sorry!

When is a parent like a child?

When he's a miner.

What happened to Casper the friendly ghost after his parents got divorced?

His mom got soul custody.

What didn't Adam and Eve have that everyone else has?

Parents.

When do rabbits have buck teeth?

When their parents won't get them braces.

How many of my parents does it take to mow the lawn?

None. They pay me to do it.

How many Millennials does it take... to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Their parents will do it for them.

What is this world coming to?

Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise

What do you call a parent named Lee?

Apparently

How do her parents punish Helen Keller?

By leaving the plunger in the toilet.

How to not get scolded by your parents if you want GTA V?

Mom! I want to play GTA V! Giant Turtles ATTACK V!

Why couldn't Kim Kardashian see Caitlyn Jenner?

Because she was trans-parent.

What do young ghosts call their parents?

Deady and Mummy.

What did the dyslexic kid say to his parents at Christmas?

I love Satan

What do you call people who use the pull out method as form of birth control?

Parents.

What did Stevie Wonder's younger brother think their parents named him after British royalty?

Because they named him Stevie Twoder.

Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator?

It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.

What did the parent say when the little girl was whining?

Leave it to peave her.

What's another name for an parent?

Someone who's stopped growing except around the waist.

What is the most obvious caretaker?

It's a parent.

You might also enjoy:

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What do you get when you cross a garden, a rabbit, and some ExLax?

For the love of everything sacred on reddit please do not make me actually key the answer....okay, let's say it together, "Salad Shooter".

Who were the shortest people in the Bible?

Let's see. There'sKneehighmiah, Bildad the Shoe-Height...oh, and Peter, who said, "Silver andgold I have none," and no one could be much shorter than that.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What do you call a guy who always phones people?

Colin.

Why didn't the blond want to use her phone while using the bathroom?

She was afraid someone would steal her IP address.

Harambe Jokes More Harambe Jokes

What do you call the offspring of a sheep and a gorilla?

HaRAMbe

What band was Harambe In?

Gorillaz

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a terrorist camp and a school?

No idea man, im just flying the drone.

What's the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath?

You can't ride your bike on a sociopath

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

Who has one thumb and survived a band saw accident?

This guy!!!

How are college students like plants?

They both need natural light to survive!

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the mom say to her son when he said he didn't want any of her flippin' pancakes?

Fine. They will just be burnt on one side.

What did the teacher think of your idea?

Son: She took it like a lamb Teacher: Really what did she say Son: Baa!

Ugly Baby Jokes More Ugly Baby Jokes

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?

Toucan

How many introverts does it take to change a lightbulb?

Why does it have to be a group activity