How many of my parents does it take to mow the lawn?

None. They pay me to do it.

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Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why didn't the art thief get away?

Because he didn't have to Monet to pay the Guy to make the Van Gogh.

Whats the least paying job?

British dentist.

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

When is a parent like a child?

When he's a miner.

What happened to Casper the friendly ghost after his parents got divorced?

His mom got soul custody.

Lawn Jokes More Lawn Jokes

How do you keep the St. Louis Rams off of your lawn?

Paint an endzone on it.

Why did the arborist plant new pine trees on their front lawn?

To spruce things up a bit.

Mow Jokes More Mow Jokes

What did the computer do with his overgrown gardens...?

Mowed 'em.

What did God say to Jesus?

This lawn ain't gonna mow itself.