What did God say to Jesus?

This lawn ain't gonna mow itself.

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why couldn't Jesus waterski?

Because he never existed.

What strengths do you bring to the job?

Long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now

God Jokes More God Jokes

What did God say when he made the first black person?

Damn, I burnt one...

What does the H. in Jesus H. Christ stand for?

Hallmark. God cares enough to send the very best.

Lawn Jokes More Lawn Jokes

Why wouldn't the pimp water his lawn?

He couldn't trust his hose.

How to you get rid of the dandelions on your lawn?

Paint one of them black the others will move away.

Mow Jokes More Mow Jokes

Why aren't you mowing the lawn?

Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight

How many of my parents does it take to mow the lawn?

None. They pay me to do it.