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What did God say to Jesus?

This lawn ain't gonna mow itself.

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What can both Christians and Atheists agree on about Jesus?

Kanye's not him.

What's the difference between Bono and Jesus?

Jesus didn't walk around Dublin acting like he's Bono.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What pets think about their owners?

A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.

What did the ancient Egyptian cheerleader chant?

THERE IS ONE GOD, HE IS THE SUN GOD! RA! RA! RA!

Lawn Jokes More Lawn Jokes

How do you get the political science grad off your lawn?

Pay for the pizza

What will fall on the lawn first?

An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue

Mow Jokes More Mow Jokes

How many of my parents does it take to mow the lawn?

None. They pay me to do it.

Why aren't you mowing the lawn?

Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight