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What did God say to Jesus?

This lawn ain't gonna mow itself.

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What happened to Jesus when he tried to play defense on a professional Basketball player?

He got crossed.

Who was the first striker?

Jesus. He went for the cross

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why did God bless Texas?

He didn't want to upset Chuck Norris.

What's the same with 9/11 and Goliath and the giant?

They were both caused by a message from god.

Lawn Jokes More Lawn Jokes

What's Irish and sits on your lawn?

Paddy o' furniture

What do you do when you see a half dead native man crawling across your lawn?

Stop laughing and reload

Mow Jokes More Mow Jokes

Why aren't you mowing the lawn?

Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight

What did the computer do with his overgrown gardens...?

Mowed 'em.