What's the difference between a statesman and a politician?

A statesman is a dead politician. God knows we need more statesman.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Marty Mcfly and a Bears fan?

Eventually, Marty Mcfly stopped going back to 1985.

What is the difference between a dollar and LeBron James?

LeBron James doesnt give you 4 quarters.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What wears a bright red suit and knows if you've been naught..or nice?

The Spanish Inquisition.

How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Who wants to know?

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu?

One requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'. i'm sorry.

What do Roseanne Barr and a battleship have in common?

They both need three tugs to get into their slips.

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!

What does God smell like?

Me: 4-year-old: Me: Nachos. 4-year-old: With cheese

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What did the cannibal make of the politician he just met?

Pork and bologne sammiches.

What's the difference between a bad mechanic and a politician?

With the mechanic, there's a shot something might get fixed...