What is the cuddliest particle known to science?

The HUGS boson!

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How can you tell, with 100% certainty, that no intelligent alien life exists that we know of?

Because if it did, we'd have sent foreign aid by now.

Why did the blonde freeze a pot of boiling water?

Because you never know when you're going to need some boiling water.

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How does my football throw look to you?

Me: Like you're good at science...

Who knows about math and science and is always close by?

An engi-near!