Batman Jokes

What do you call it when Batman skips church..?

Christian Bale.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car?

Get in the car

What sport can Batman best Superman in?

Polo

What's it called when Batman walks out of church?

Christian Bale Hah

What superhero consists of only 16 atoms?

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!

Why did Batman go to the corner store?

FOR JUST ICE

What do they say when Batman catches a cold?

He's ben affleckted.

Why is Batman so jealous of Superman?

Because he has 3 dead parents and Bruce only has 2

What would make Batman really salty?

Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-Cl-

What does Batman take with his drinks?

Just ice

What's the difference between Batman's parents and jokes about Batman's parents?

Jokes about Batman's parents can get old.

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What did Batman give Doctor Freeze with his whisky?

Just-ice

What does Batman get in his drink?

Just Ice

How does Batman's mom call him home for dinner?

She doesn't because she's dead.

What do you call a fusion between Batman and Superman?

The krypton-knight.

What did Mr. Freeze call himself when he joined Batman's fight against criminals?

The Dark Knightrogen

What do you call Batman without a soul?

Bn. (B "atma" n)

Why don't they call the Batman film "The White Knight" instead of "The Dark Knight"?

Because no one would care that he died.

What does Batman ask when he enters a butcher shop?

Gotham?

What do you get when you cross Batman with Mountain Dew?

Dew diligance

What is it called when Batman abandons Gotham city?

Christian Bale.

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Whats the difference between a black man and Batman?

Batman can go to a store without robin.

What's Batman's favorite food?

Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

What did the anti-joker say to the joker?

I'm Batman.

Who does Batman call when he needs to cool down his expensive drinks?

The Just-Ice League.

What does Batman take in his whiskey?

Just ice.

What is Batman's least favorite TV channel?

The Family Channel.

Where does Batman go to get a haircut?

Batman-do

What did Santa Clause give all the naughty boys and girls for Christmas this year?

He made them Batman.

What did Batman say to Robin before they hop on the Batmobile?

To the Batmobile!

What do you get if you group 8 sodium atoms together?

Batman.

How do Batman's parents call him to dinner?

They don't they're dead.

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner?

She doesn't, she's dead

What does Batman like with his whiskey?

Gravely voice) "Just ice."

What does Batman put in his drinks?

Just ice.

What is Batman's favorite thing to do with his money?

Make it Wayne.

Why couldn't Batman go to the movie?

Because it was rated "PG"

What else do you need when you use your Batman shampoo?

Conditioner Gordon.

What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?

He would be robin.

What's the difference between Black man, and Batman?

Batman can go in a convenience store without Robbin.

What is the Speed of Darkness?

Batman!

What happened when the joker dropped an elephant carrying a ten ton weight on Batman and Robin?

They became flatman and ribbon. has left the building.

What happens when Batman sees Catwoman naked?

The Dark Knight Rises.

What does Batman like in his lemonade?

Just ice.

What does Batman put in his beverages?

Just ice.

What's the difference between Ice Age 4 and Batman The Dark Knight?

The kids walked out of Ice Age 4... Alive

What does Batman's mum shout when it's time for dinner?

Nothing. She's dead.

Why is the bat-boy the luckiest guy on the baseball team?

Because when he grows up he will be Batman.

Why are Batman and black man different?

Bat man can go a whole night without robin

What does Batman use to wash his hair?

Conditioner Gordon.

Why did Batman leave church?

Because Christian Baled

What's the difference between Batman and Martin Brodeur?

Batman isn't wearing hockey pads.

Why couldn't Batman go fishing?

Because Robin ate the worms.

How is Batman different from a black man?

Batman can go in a store without Robin.

What's Batman's favorite fruit?

Bananananananananana

What's Batman's least favourite album?

A Night at the Opera.

What does Batman take in his beverages?

Just...ice.

What is Batman's favourite hair product?

Conditioner Gordon.

Who wins in a fight: Goku or Superman?

Wrong, Batman always wins.   Yes, I do have the sense of humor of a 5 year old.

What to you call Batman and Robin after they've been run over by a car?

Flatman and Ribbon

What do black people and Batman have in common?

Neither one of them get r/dadjokes

What has holes in it, and travels down an alley?

Batman: my parents Riddler: no its a bowling ball! I-im so sorry!

What does Batman put in his drink?

Just ice

What do Batman and 16 atoms of sodium have in common?

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na

Why's he in his underwear?

Batman: So we match. Look, this isn't about me.

What do Batman's parents shout when dinners ready?

NOTHING, BECAUSE THEY'RE DEAD.

What did Drake Bell say to Batman?

Sorry, still calling you Bruce! I found this on Facebook somewhere; I dunno who to get credit to.

What did Batman say at the deli?

Got ham

How does Batman order his iced water?

Can I get that..Just ice

What is Batman's least favorite ice cream?

Vanilla Bane!

What travels down an alley and is full of holes?

Batman's Parents.

Why does Batman think so highly about himself?

Bruce Wayne.

What does Sodium and Batman have in common?

NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa BATMAN i'll just see myself out....

What's the difference between Batman and Blackman?

Batman can go to the store without robin Edit: glad you'll liked it

What does Batman like adding to his drinks?

JUST-ICE

What does Batman add to his tea?

Just ice.

Who can watch an R rated movie but not a PG?

Batman

What do you call a Batman that leaves church early?

A Christian bail

What do you call Batman and Robin after they got run over by a steamroller?

Flatman and Ribbon

What is it called when Batman wants to leave Church early?

Christian Bale.

What do you get if a huge hairy monster steps on Batman and Robin?

Flatman and Ribbon!

Why Didn't Batman Go To Church?

Because of Christian Bail

What type of movies can't Batman see?

Parental Guidance.

What did Batman say to the joker when he finally caught him?

Gotham

Why doesn't Batman like going to Robin's house?

They don't like rich people in Robin's hood

Who'd win if Batman fought Santa?

Before u say Batman, just remember who's watching you answer.

What if it's daytime?

Batman: *glares at Robin* Gordon: Yeah, what if it- Batman: *smoke bomb*

What's black and blue and about to hurt someone?

Batman thinking about his dead parents.

What does Batman do with all his spare money?

He makes it wayne

Why did Batman fill his freezer with water bottles?

Because he wanted just ice.

What do you see?

Patient: A house and Me: Wrong it's Batman. Ok this one Patient: I se Me: Nope. Batman again.

How does a chemist introduce Batman?

Sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium Batman!

What's Batman's favorite dessert?

Just ice cream

What is Batman's favorite sport?

Baseball.

What happend to the guys who kidnapped Batman?

They got Bale.

What do you call Batman if he leaves church?

Christian bail.

Where did the Joker prank Batman?

Got 'Em City.

Why did Batman climb the tree?

He was looking for Robin's nest.

Where does Batman go to the bathroom?

The batroom.

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Why did the black man go to the golf-club on Sunday afternoon?

Because he had a membership.

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's the best way to make friends?

Tell a woman you love her and she says "i think we're just friends..."

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?

Their knees. (Not sure if this one translates well to English)

Introduce Jokes More Introduce Jokes

How long do you need to know someone before sharing fries?

Because I'm about to introduce myself to the girl at the end of the bar.

How to cure affluenza?

Introduce him to Warhammer.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What's the first rule of bug ownership?

Watch your step!

What do you call a room full of men watching the Super Bowl on a big screen TV?

The Patriots

Sodium Jokes More Sodium Jokes

Why couldn't the scientist find salt for his breakfast?

Because it was Na HA! Get it? Because Na=sodium and N/A=not available. Seriously, this is good clean fun.

What does Sodium and Batman have in common?

NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa BATMAN i'll just see myself out....

Alfre Jokes More Alfre Jokes

How did Bruce and Alfred build the Batcave all by themselves?

The Lord: I meant any questions about the mysteries of existence

How does Alfred call Batman for dinner?

Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner Batman!

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

Why can't I have coffee?

Me: It'll make u even more energetic than u already are 7: But u drink it all the time& u never have energy!

What do u call a Mexican who survives a shootout and lives to tell the tale?

The Juan who lived.

Robin Jokes More Robin Jokes

What did one orphan say to the other?

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?

He would be robin.