Who can watch an R rated movie but not a PG?

Batman

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What's Batman's favorite food?

Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

What did Batman give Doctor Freeze with his whisky?

Just-ice

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How to find out who loves you more - your dog or your wife?

Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.

Why do you never buy a woman a watch?

Because there's a clock on the stove.

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What's my rating from 1 to 10 for Harry Potter?

Nine and three quarters.

Why did the movie critic give the movie he received on a burned disc a 3.14/5?

Because it was pi-rated.

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What's a pirate's favourite game?

An arrr-pg

Why couldn't Batman go to the movie?

Because it was rated "PG"