Why don't you buy your wife a watch?

There's already a clock on the stove

This joke may have profanity.

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What's the Difference between a Wife and an Attic Door?

An attic door can shut up. im going to hell

What type of wife always knows where her husband is?

A widow

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What did Michael J. Fox's dad say when Michael J. Fox tried to parallel park?

Watch the Parking son.

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To find out the latest on gum control legislation.

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Because Chernobyl fallout.

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What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock?

Politics

Why did the man break the clock?

He wasn't comfortable with having that much time on his hands.

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How many men does it take to make popcorn?

Four one to hold the pot and three to act macho and shake the stove.

What is grey, very big and when it falls out of a tree the stove breaks?

The stove.