Where does Dracula buy his writing supplies?

Pencilvania.

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Why couldn't the woman buy a bakery shop?

She couldn't raise enough dough.

How did SkyMall go bankrupt?

I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me.

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Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup?

Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper.

Why did Dracula lie in the wrong coffin?

He made a grave mistake.