Where does Dracula buy his writing supplies?

Pencilvania.

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Why did Karl Marx always buy cheap tea?

Because he believed that all proper tea was theft.

Why shouldn't you buy underwear made in the Ukraine?

Because Chernobyl fallout.

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What does Dracula say when you tell him a new fact?

Well fangcy that!

Where is Dracula's American office?

The Vampire State Building.