Rate Jokes

What do you rate Megan Fox out of 10?

Friend: 9 Me: 9? I'll give her one..

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why can't children watch pirate movies?

Because they're rated

Why is Texas the "Lone Star" state?

It was rated out of five.

Why couldn't a kid watch a pirate movie?

Because it was rated R.

How would you rate an average upholstery job upon completion?

Eh. Sew-sew.

What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.

What rating do pirate movies always get?

PG-13

What do you call an angry, seafaring mathematician?

Rate!!!

Why couldn't the 5 year old go to the pirate movie?

It was rated PG-13.

What kind of movies do pirates watch?

ARRRR Rated Movies!

Why couldn't Batman go to the movie?

Because it was rated "PG"

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

Why didn't the pirate get into the movie?

It was rated rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Why did the movie critic give the movie he received on a burned disc a 3.14/5?

Because it was pi-rated.

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie?

It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

What's the pirate movie rated?

PG-13!

What kind of movie do mathematicians most often watch?

Rated movies

Who can watch an R rated movie but not a PG?

Batman

What is the horror movie Quija rated?

Quija-13

What rating did Moody's give to the sheep?

BAAA

Why is the new Zork game rated M for mature?

I guess it's too grue-some.

How would you rate USA and Saudi Arabia's relationship?

9/11

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What's my rating from 1 to 10 for Harry Potter?

Nine and three quarters.

Why couldn't the kid see the pirate movie?

Because it was rated arrr!

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Lumberjack Jokes More Lumberjack Jokes

What did the lumberjack see?

He saw a tree.

What happens when a lumberjack doesn't know which tree to cut next?

He gets stumped.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America?

Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China.

10 Jokes More 10 Jokes

Why was 7 afraid of 8?

Because 8 nined 10.

How many guns do I have left?

That's right. 10.

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

Why a pirate could not spell iris?

He had only one 'i'

What does a pirate say when they drop their scissors?

Scissor me timbers!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why can't they use PC's as word-processors in Poland?

The screens keep on filling up with white-out.

What kind of medicine do Ants use when they have eye problems?

Ant-Eye Biotics (Dad joke, I know)

Pirate Movie Jokes More Pirate Movie Jokes

What's the pirate movie rated?

PG-13!

Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie?

It was rated R.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

What kind of an erection does a necrophiliac get?

Mourning wood!

How far can you run into the woods?

Halfway, any further and you're running out.

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

Why did the punster enjoy the Broadway show about etymology?

Because it was a play on words.