Movie Jokes

Why does Willem Dafoe play a villain in a lot of movies?

Duh. Cause he's da foe.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

What makes for a good first date?

NOT MOVIES

What do you call a movie about dancing robots?

Step Up: Transformers.

What movie contains the most micro aggressions?

Ant Man

What's at the end of every movie?

Insert coin

Where does Arnie sit at the movies?

Aisle B - Back.

What do you call a movie about a low-magnitude Iron ion that skips school?

Ferrous Bueller's Day Off

What's common between a crying baby and a gun?

You must not bring either to the movies.

What rating do pirate movies always get?

PG-13

What is the best city to stream a movie?

Buffa lo

Why did the cheese maker not enjoy the movie?

In a Dutch accent Not much Gouda

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

Why should you never watch a movie with a generous Nascar driver?

He might give away spoilers!

Why couldn't the coal worker get into the movie?

He was a miner.

Where does the brown sugar go to watch a movie?

The Cinemon.

What is a geometry teachers favorite movie?

Angles in the Outfield

Why did the strawberry take the fig to the movies?

Because he couldn't find a date!

What's the one movie that Rick Astley won't let you borrow?

He's never gonna give you Up.

What do you cast a containment device out of element 28 in?

MOVIES!

What did the egg play in the movie?

The egg-stra.

Why can't a dog clap in the middle of a movie?

Because it keeps hitting pause.

What movie did Leonardo DiCaprio's dog recently star in?

The Woof of Wall Street.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

What does it mean when a lion roars?

Shut up. The movie is about to start.

Why did the skeleton go to the movies alone?

He didn't have any body to go with him.

What's the name of that movie about the war horse?

War Biscuit

What kind of movies do pirates watch?

ARRRR Rated Movies!

Why couldn't Batman go to the movie?

Because it was rated "PG"

What do you call someone who confuses Emma Stone and Mila Kunis in a movie?

A bad judge of character.

Who's the laziest doctor at the hospital?

Doctor Dolittle

Why didn't the pirate get into the movie?

It was rated rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Why did the movie critic give the movie he received on a burned disc a 3.14/5?

Because it was pi-rated.

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie?

It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

Where do Russians stream movies from?

Nyetflix.

How did the raisin have fun at the movies?

It took a date....

What's that movie about the girl who forgets Adam Sandler every day?

I want to know her secret

What's it like being a grown up?

Me hands her money: When we get to the movies, buy a large popcorn. 10: This is only $2 M: Exactly

What's the one movie Rick won't ever let you borrow?

He won't ever give you *Up*.

What do you call a movie about artificial orange juice?

Pulp Fiction

What was Arnold Schwarzenegger's answer when asked which historical person he would like to play in a movie?

I'll be Bach.

How can one get rid of the echo while playing a movie?

Get some furniture

What kind of movie do mathematicians most often watch?

Rated movies

Which movie is on every man's bucket list?

Die Hard

What would be the movie called if it were about you?

You Yourself &amp Urine.

How does the Pirate watch his movie?

He PIRATES them off line. (Or torrents them off Pirates Bay) =)

What did the cat do when he didn't want to watch the movie?

He paws-ed it!

What movie was made when Hannibal Lecter got Paralysed?

Silence of the Limbs

What type of movies can't Batman see?

Parental Guidance.

How long is the movie?

I need to know what time to pick her up.

Why didn't the blondes go to the movies on one buck night?

They couldn't fit a deer into the car.

Where do angles go for fun on the weekends?

To watch movies in the THETA

What did the pirate pirate say on his 80th birthday?

I can't believe I'm still illegally downloading movies at this age!

What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies?

Should we walk home or take a dog

Where do mermaids go to see movies?

The dive-in

What do you call a cat that torrents movies?

A copy cat.

What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.

Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies together?

They heard that under seventeen weren't admitted!

Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie?

Because he was arrested for pirating movies since it's illegal!

Why is Karl Marx credited in so many movies?

OC) Because he wrote the Rom-Communist Manifesto.

What famous pig actor made a movie about Frankenswine?

Boaris Karloff.

What is this movie about?

It is about 2 hours long.

You might also enjoy:

Rate Jokes More Rate Jokes

Why couldn't Batman go to the movie?

Because it was rated "PG"

What do you call an angry, seafaring mathematician?

Rate!!!

Blind Person Jokes More Blind Person Jokes

What is the meanest practical joke one can pull on a blind person?

Leaving a plunger in the toilet.

How can a blind person tell if they're home?

They check the architexture.

Disney Jokes More Disney Jokes

Why did the Country Bear Jamboree bear blush?

Because he was a bear a-singing...... I am at Disney with the kids this week...

What illness are you suffering from if you keep seeing cartoon animals who talk?

Disney spells.

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of wind is named after a young deer?

Foehn

What type of plant can you use to make phone calls?

A telefern

50 Shade Jokes More 50 Shade Jokes

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

When is it bedtime at the neverland ranch?

When the big hand touches the little one.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies?

Disney Movies still touch kids

Abraham Lincoln Jokes More Abraham Lincoln Jokes

Why can't Abraham Lincoln remember the Gettysburg Address?

Because he's dead.

What did Abraham Lincoln say after a three-day drinking spree?

I freed the what?

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Why do people say children are the future?

They are clearly the present. Old people are the future.

Why can't children watch pirate movies?

Because they're rated