What's it like being a grown up?

Me hands her money: When we get to the movies, buy a large popcorn. 10: This is only $2 M: Exactly

A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one.

What kind of tree grows in your hand?

A palm tree.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What four letter word starts with F ends in K and if you can't get it you have to use your hands or fingers...?

A fork

What phone etiquette?

You hand me your phone, you better believe I'ma hurry & scroll through as many pics as I can before you notice.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Where can you buy a 3 headed flying purple camel with 74 noses?

Ebay.

Where did Capt. Hook buy his prosthesis?

A. At a secondhand store.

10 Jokes More 10 Jokes

What do you mean, 10?

10 what Months Weeks!" Doctor: "Nine."

Why are promise rings 1/10th the price of engagement rings?

They only work 10% of the time.

Movie Jokes More Movie Jokes

How was the movie?

Brian: A real turkey. I could hardly sit through it the second time!

What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet?

DownlOdin. What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet illegally? Thorrenting.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What is the difference between a guitar player and government bonds?

Government bonds mature over time and earn money

How do Rabbis make money?

They keep the tips.

M Jokes More M Jokes

What did the south tower say to the north?

BRB man, I've got to catch a plane. Im soz.

Who's Leonardo DiCaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character?

Oscar im so sorry