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Rate Movie Jokes

What kind of movies do scurvy circles enjoy?

Rated movies.

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

What kind of movie do mathematicians most often watch?

Rated movies

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5 Year Old Jokes More 5 Year Old Jokes

What did I tell you about telling the truth?

5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.

What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What's the first rule of bug ownership?

Watch your step!

Where is the remote?

All the way over there." "Guess I'm watching this."

Pirate Movie Jokes More Pirate Movie Jokes

Why couldn't a kid watch a pirate movie?

Because it was rated R.

What's the pirate movie rated?

PG-13!

Pg Jokes More Pg Jokes

Why couldn't the orphan watch the movie?

Because it was PG

Why couldn't Batman go to the movie?

Because it was rated "PG"

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

Why couldn't Moses believe his mother sent him away in a basket?

Because he was in de-Nile

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

Horror Movie Jokes More Horror Movie Jokes

What is the horror movie Quija rated?

Quija-13

What do horror movies and printer ink have in common?

The black one always dies first.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why don't witches like The Keg?

Because it's always burned at the stake

What do a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

In all 3 cases, someone forgot to pull it out.

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

What did the Pirate say when he got his firecrackers?

Ahoy M-80

What do pirates and pimps have in common?

They both say "YO HO!" and walk with a limp!