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5 Year Old Jokes

What do you call a 5 year old without any friend?

A Sandy Hook Survivor

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What does Pikachu say when he puts too much salsa on his food?

PIKA PIKA PIKA (Credit to my 5 year old son)

What's your favorite word?

5-Year-Old: Empathy! I don't even know what it means! Me- I know how you feel.

Why couldn't the 5 year old go to the pirate movie?

It was rated PG-13.

How did Jared from Subway get food poisoning?

He ate a 5 year old weiner

What do the Scottish people call iPhone?

An AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)

Why is it a bad idea to give Elsa a balloon?

Because she'll "Let it go! Let it go!" This joke was made up by my 5 year old nephew.

What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.

What do you say when your neighbor's 5 year old goes missing?

Nothing.

Who wins in a fight: Goku or Superman?

Wrong, Batman always wins. &nbsp; Yes, I do have the sense of humor of a 5 year old.

What did I tell you about telling the truth?

5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.

Love Card

Love Card

Why don't we say Grace?

Me: I don't know. 5-year-old: Me: 5-year-old: Is it because your cooking makes God angry

Why Did The Tiger Cross The Road?

Because there wasn't a Zebra crossing Sorry, my 5 year old son made me post this

Who ate all the cookies?

5-year-old: Ninjas. Me: I didn't see them. 5-year-old: No one ever does. Checkmate.

Why does tigger smell?

Becuase he hangs around with pooh! Had to share my 5 year olds joke..

What do you call a cow that gets hit by a car?

A dead cow! (My 5-year old made up this joke)

What's in your mom's tummy?

5-year-old: A baby. Woman: What kind of baby 5-year-old: A human one. Nailed it.

Why are you in such a bad mood?

5-year-old: I haven't had my coffee. Me: You've never had coffee. 5-year-old: Exactly.

What do you call a 5 year old's knees?

Kidneys! Ha! I'll be here all week folks.

What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

What do you call a cow that can't moo?

A milk dud Credit to my 5 year old nephew

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

How was your first day of school?

5-year-old: Long. Me: I'm sure tomorrow will be better. 5-year-old: Wait, I have to go back

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9 Month Jokes More 9 Month Jokes

Why are men better cooks?

They only need 2 eggs n 1 sausage to keep a girl full for 9 months

What do you do in 5 minutes that you then suffer for for 9 months?

A school application.

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What did the diva with Alzheimer's disease say?

Credit to one of the writers from Bob's Burgers).

How does the drug addict know the cocaine is good quality?

He just nose. All credit to my BFF

21 Year Jokes More 21 Year Jokes

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

Where is Jennifer's husband?

Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

Question Jokes More Question Jokes

How many members of an ethnicity does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number! One member to perform the task, and the rest to behave in a manner stereotypical to the ethnicity in question.

How did I get here?

I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower.

Subway Jokes More Subway Jokes

How do you fit an elephant in to a subway?

Take the 's' out of "sub" and the 'f' out of "way"

What happens when you mix Jared from Subway and Bill Cosby?

I don't know; It was too long ago, and I can't remember.

Pirate Movie Jokes More Pirate Movie Jokes

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie?

It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie?

It was rated R.

Sauce Jokes More Sauce Jokes

Why did the sauce need a night light?

Because he was alfredo the dark!

How did worchestershire sauce get it's name?

Someone gave some to a cajun and he said "whus dis here sauce"

Pikachu Jokes More Pikachu Jokes

Why shouldn't you let a Pokemon take a shower with you?

He might Pikachu.

Why shoudn't you take you Pokemon cards to the shower?

Cuz Pikachu might Pik a Chu