Who gets the job of writing the fortunes in the cookies?

I want that job. I could really screw with some people.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons?

Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train!

Why was the programmer unhappy at his job?

He wanted arrays. It had to be reiterated several times before it was sorted out.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many roaches does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2 but how they got in the light bulb I will never know

How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2...and don't ask me how they got in there. (My 87 year old grandma just told me this one)

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call a pirate that pees on other people?

Rrrrrrrrrrrr Kelly

What do people from West Virginia do on Halloween?

Pump-Kin

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why was the midget fired from his job?

He came up short on his register.

What did the management consultant think of his job?

It was the Bain of his existence.

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.

Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker?

He wrote "1 + 0 = 0" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out...

Fortune Jokes More Fortune Jokes

What do you call a group of Lexus cars?

A fortune!

Why did Vana White run off the stage of Wheel of Fortune?

She had a bowel movement during her vowel movement.

Cookie Jokes More Cookie Jokes

What did the cookie say to the cracker?

You feeling salty bro

What did one cookie say to the other cookie?

You've got a chip on your shoulder. What did the deer say to the bear Your unbearable