Who gets the job of writing the fortunes in the cookies?

I want that job. I could really screw with some people.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the dragonball z fan say when he wanted to go to the toilet?

I need to goku the toilet

Whats your first wish?

Dave: I wish I was rich. Genie: Granted, what's your second wish Rich: I want lots of money.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Carpathians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, Vigo and see. (best read in Yanosh's voice)

How long does it take Han Solo to screw in a light bulb?

Less than twelve parsecs.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call people who teach their kids to use abstinence as birth control?

Grandparents.

Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name?

Worst. Spy. Ever.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did Holden Caulfield hate his job at Sprint?

He was surrounded by phone-ys!

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew.

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

Why is history called His story?

Because it's written by the Victors, not the Victorias.

What does toilet paper and office paper have in common?

You can write on both of them with a No. 2

Fortune Jokes More Fortune Jokes

Which burgers can tell your fortune?

Medium burgers!

Why do LEGO men hate going to hospital...?

Because plastic surgery costs a fortune!

Cookie Jokes More Cookie Jokes

What's the difference between a vampire and a cookie?

You can't dip a vampire in your tea.

What do ducks do at Christmas time?

They Duckerate cookies....lol...