Fortune Jokes

How many tunes should the bard play?

Fortunes.

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What letter do pirates guess most often on Wheel of Fortune?

T. Modern pirates are most likely based in Somalia, and T is the most common consonant in the Somali Latin alphabet.

Why did Vana White run off the stage of Wheel of Fortune?

She had a bowel movement during her vowel movement.

Where do fortune tellers keep the fortunes?

Crystal balls deep made this up.

Why do LEGO men hate going to hospital...?

Because plastic surgery costs a fortune!

What do Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both spent a fortune making their noses more white.

What do you call a group of Lexus cars?

A fortune!

Why don't Canadians do well on Wheel of Fortune?

Because the host gets confused when they say "I'd to buy a vowel eh."

Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?

They never want to log off.

Who gets the job of writing the fortunes in the cookies?

I want that job. I could really screw with some people.

Why are fish cleverer than humans?

Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?

Whale of fortune!

Which burgers can tell your fortune?

Medium burgers!

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Relationship Jokes More Relationship Jokes

How are relationships like algebra?

You look at your X and try to find out Y

Why don't some couples go to the gym?

Because some relationships don't work out.

Common Consonant Jokes More Common Consonant Jokes

What letter do pirates guess most often on Wheel of Fortune?

T. Modern pirates are most likely based in Somalia, and T is the most common consonant in the Somali Latin alphabet.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.

What's today's date?

Germany/Brazil/2016

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What do you call an alligator that wins a race?

A chompion. (7-year old me thought he was very clever.)

Who always wins at musical chairs?

Rosa Parks

Stage Jokes More Stage Jokes

Why did Vana White run off the stage of Wheel of Fortune?

She had a bowel movement during her vowel movement.

Why did the magician always use trap doors during his act?

It was juts a stage he was going through.

T Jokes More T Jokes

What is dark and hairy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside, starts with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it?

A coconut

How do you spell that?

T-h-a-t

Small Fortune Jokes More Small Fortune Jokes

What is the most tried and true method to getting a small fortune?

Start out with a large fortune.

How can you make a small fortune?

Start with a big one

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What's the difference between a PC gamer and a console player?

One spends 400 dollars on a console that will play games for years, the other pays 400 dollars for a graphics card that will be outdated in a week

What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.