Fortune Jokes

How many tunes should the bard play?

Fortunes.

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What letter do pirates guess most often on Wheel of Fortune?

T. Modern pirates are most likely based in Somalia, and T is the most common consonant in the Somali Latin alphabet.

Why did Vana White run off the stage of Wheel of Fortune?

She had a bowel movement during her vowel movement.

Where do fortune tellers keep the fortunes?

Crystal balls deep made this up.

Why do LEGO men hate going to hospital...?

Because plastic surgery costs a fortune!

What do Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both spent a fortune making their noses more white.

What do you call a group of Lexus cars?

A fortune!

Why don't Canadians do well on Wheel of Fortune?

Because the host gets confused when they say "I'd to buy a vowel eh."

Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?

They never want to log off.

Who gets the job of writing the fortunes in the cookies?

I want that job. I could really screw with some people.

What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?

Whale of fortune!

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Which burgers can tell your fortune?

Medium burgers!

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Small Fortune Jokes More Small Fortune Jokes

How can you make a small fortune?

Start with a big one

How do you make a small fortune out of horses?

Start off with a large fortune!

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

What's big, white and goes down on you in the middle of the night?

An Airbus A320.

What do you call a budget that's cut short from the middle?

A midget.

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

How do I get to 280?

A man steps out of line and replies "I guess diet and exercise didn't work!"

What does a vegetable get in bowling?

A-spare-I-guess

Small Medium Jokes More Small Medium Jokes

What do you call a 5' 2" fortune teller that has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large

What do you call a midget psychic running from the cops?

A small medium at large!

Headline Jokes More Headline Jokes

Why did North Korea tell South Korea not to crow about the recent agreement?

Because they'd rather see them raven. Obligatory apology: saw a headline and couldn't resist.

What were the headlines like when the shovel was invented?

There's been a ground breaking discovery...

Letter Jokes More Letter Jokes

What letter is like a vegetable?

The letter P.

Why did the young witch have such difficulty writing letters?

She had never learned to spell properly.

Obese Jokes More Obese Jokes

What do programmers and obese people have in common?

They both call an 8-course meal a bite.

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

Stage Jokes More Stage Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the stage?

To get to the other aside!

What do you call 5 black guys on a stage?

An auction