Fortune Jokes

How many tunes should the bard play?

Fortunes.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why did Vana White run off the stage of Wheel of Fortune?

She had a bowel movement during her vowel movement.

Where do fortune tellers keep the fortunes?

Crystal balls.

Why do LEGO men hate going to hospital...?

Because plastic surgery costs a fortune!

What do you call a group of Lexus cars?

A fortune!

Why don't Canadians do well on Wheel of Fortune?

Because the host gets confused when they say "I'd to buy a vowel eh."

Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?

They never want to log off.

Who gets the job of writing the fortunes in the cookies?

I want that job. I could really screw with some people.

What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?

Whale of fortune!

Which burgers can tell your fortune?

Medium burgers!

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Small Medium Jokes More Small Medium Jokes

What do you call a short clairvoyant person who just broke out of prison?

A small medium at large.

What do you call a midget psychic committing a crime?

Small medium at large.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?

Student: "So we know when to start Christmas shopping!"

How are STEM majors and inflatable slides the same?

You start off excited over your lofty heights and slowly slide down into something soft.

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

What does a Pirate prefer to wear?

Doublet or nothing.

What do pirates like to wear during the winter?

Scarves

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

Why was the doctor forced to leave work early?

The hospital ran all out of patience

Somalia Jokes More Somalia Jokes

Why did the Australian pirate refuse lunch?

Because he had Somalia.

Why can't pirates learn the alphabet?

Because Somalia doesn't have an education system

Wheel Jokes More Wheel Jokes

What's the wheel for?

The pirate replies, "Arrr it's drivin me nuts!"

What did the car say when it's front wheels were stolen?

I don't want to go anywhere. I'm two tired.

Small Fortune Jokes More Small Fortune Jokes

How do you make a small fortune out of horses?

Start off with a large fortune!

How do you make a small fortune in aviation?

Start out with a large fortune.

Vowel Movement Jokes More Vowel Movement Jokes

Why did Vana White run off the stage of Wheel of Fortune?

She had a bowel movement during her vowel movement.

Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E?

Because he had a vowel movement.