How many tunes should the bard play?

Fortunes.

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Fortune Jokes More Fortune Jokes

Who gets the job of writing the fortunes in the cookies?

I want that job. I could really screw with some people.

Which burgers can tell your fortune?

Medium burgers!

Tune Jokes More Tune Jokes

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna"fish!

What's the definition of a quarter tone?

A. A bagpiper tuning his drones.