How many tunes should the bard play?

Fortunes.

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Fortune Jokes More Fortune Jokes

Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?

They never want to log off.

Why are fish cleverer than humans?

Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?

Tune Jokes More Tune Jokes

What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?

A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.

What's the definition of a quarter tone?

A. A bagpiper tuning his drones.