What do you call an angry, seafaring mathematician?

Rate!!!

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What do mathematicians call retirement?

Aftermath

How did the Mathematician relieve his constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil!

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Why did the movie critic give the movie he received on a burned disc a 3.14/5?

Because it was pi-rated.

How would you rate an average upholstery job upon completion?

Eh. Sew-sew.