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Crime Rate Jokes

How do you lower the crime rate?

Give the criminals badges.

Love

Love

What's the only thing that grows in Oakland?

The Crime Rate!

Why are crime rates down in the US?

Because criminals keep turning themselves into police.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when it hits a car windscreen?

Its arse.

How can a thing be heavier than it is?

T: No-sees it's almost 3 pm Magic

Lower Jokes More Lower Jokes

How many people live in the lower part of Italy?

There are literally Sicilians.

How much does a Polar Bear weigh?

Enough to lower your standards, I'm moonsoutgoonsout

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

What do police and my laundry detergent not have in common?

One protects all colors.

What disease do police give black people?

Glock coma

Ferguson Jokes More Ferguson Jokes

What's the only thing that grows in Ferguson?

The crime rate.

Who burns their own city down?

The people of Ferguson.

Criminal Jokes More Criminal Jokes

When did the criminal get smart?

When the judge threw the book at him.

What do you call a horse that's a criminal?

A Zebra.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How do you turn regular water into holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

Why can't you tell a Philosophy Student a good joke?

You need to give a three hour lecture and turn in a research paper on "What is 'good' " first.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What grows when you squeeze it, explodes if you rub it too hard, and children love it?

A balloon animal!

Where's the best place for a horse to grow up?

In a stable environment. Sorry I'm high and it just came to me.