What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

Why is Santa so jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. Happy Holidays Fun!

What do you call a child afraid of Santa?

Claustrophobic

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?

He stank to the bottom of the pool!

What happens to a drunk vampire?

They get a fangover.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

What did the angry dough ball say to the other dough ball?

You trying to get a rise out of me! Came up with while I was making pizza.

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

Why did the French fry call the police?

Because it was a(salt)ted.

Why didn't Sug Knight talk to the police?

Because the g is silent

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How do Asians execute white people?

They cut off their heads using a Gweilotine.

How do you stop a monster from smelling?

Cut off his nose.

Clau Jokes More Clau Jokes

What does Santa call it when Mrs. Claus gives him road head?

Getting sleighed.

Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed?

Because Santa came early!

Oc Jokes More Oc Jokes

Why did the English majors switch to Spanish?

OC) Too many persuasive esses.

What literary genre is Frozen?

Bildungsnowman. (OC)

Beard Jokes More Beard Jokes

Who can shave 30 times a day and still have a beard?

A barber.

What did one leg say to the other?

Shorty's growin a beard.

Statement Jokes More Statement Jokes

Why does chav code never compile?

They end every statement with init

What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.

Mrs. Claus Jokes More Mrs. Claus Jokes

What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her?

You're getting too wrapped up in your work!

What do you call Santa's wife?

Mrs Claus.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

What do you call a French General who charged into battle and died?

Napoleon Blownaparte

Decline Jokes More Decline Jokes

Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

Insufficient funds.

Why does Kylo Ren decline all my raid invites in WoW?

Cause he been solo.

Press Jokes More Press Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing