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What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What would santa be if he was a farmer?

A jolly rancher.

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobia!

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?

It gets wet.

What happens when you throw a laptop into the ocean?

You have a Dell, rolling in the deep.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What happens when you put the energizer bunny's battery's in backwards?

He keeps coming and coming and coming.

Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?

He heard the snow-blower was coming.

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

What's worse than having your car impounded by the police?

Impounding your mother

What does Sting have in common with a snitch?

They both sang at the police.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What did the boy say after the tailor made fun of him for not wearing pants?

Hey, why don't you cut me some slacks?

Why did the knife quit?

It couldn't CUT IT! woohoo! I made this one up while sitting at a buffet table. Enjoy! Skip

Clau Jokes More Clau Jokes

What is Santa saying to Mrs. Claus right now?

I told you it would rain, dear.

What does Santa call it when Mrs. Claus gives him road head?

Getting sleighed.

Oc Jokes More Oc Jokes

What do you put in an actor's drink... OC to raise the level of anticipation at the Oscars?

Expectorant(/spoiler)

What's a redditors worst fear?

OC

Beard Jokes More Beard Jokes

What's the difference between extremist and /r/thedonald?

At least one group can grow a beard.

Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard?

A barber.

Statement Jokes More Statement Jokes

What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Mrs. Claus Jokes More Mrs. Claus Jokes

What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her?

You're getting too wrapped up in your work!

What is Santa saying to Mrs. Claus right now?

I told you it would rain, dear.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

Why does Star Wars Movies numbering scheme starts with 4,5,6?

Because in charge of the numbers, Yoda was

When should you charge a battery?

When you can't pay cash.

Decline Jokes More Decline Jokes

What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

Why does Kylo Ren decline all my raid invites in WoW?

Cause he been solo.

Press Jokes More Press Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.