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What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What did Santa say when he went to a brothel?

Hoe hoe hoe!

What do you call one of Santa's helpers?

A subordinate clause

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when you get more than you payed for with a Mexican Gigolo?

The second coming of Jess.

What would happen if pigs went on strike?

They'd form pigget lines.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What happens when you put the Energizer bunny's batteries in backwards?

It keeps coming, and coming, and coming...

What is white and streaks across the sky at blinding speeds?

The coming of the lord

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

Who is it?

Police: Police. Me:What do u want Police: To talk. Me: How many r u Police: 2 Me: Talk to each other.

What did the Chinese guy tell the police when he was caught?

You got the Wong guy.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How does the man in the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

How on earth can you defend a man like Adam Johnson?

It's easy, he's all left foot - just constantly show him down the right side and don't let him cut in.

Clau Jokes More Clau Jokes

What does Santa call it when Mrs. Claus gives him road head?

Getting sleighed.

What does Santa call his wife at tax time?

A dependent Claus.

Oc Jokes More Oc Jokes

Whats reddits favorite tv show?

The OC.

What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue?

OC Icy dead people!

Beard Jokes More Beard Jokes

How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor

What's the difference between extremist and /r/thedonald?

At least one group can grow a beard.

Statement Jokes More Statement Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

Mrs. Claus Jokes More Mrs. Claus Jokes

What do you call Santa's wife?

Mrs Claus.

What does Santa call it when Mrs. Claus gives him road head?

Getting sleighed.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

How many electrons does a negatively charged oxygen atom have?

Nion

How much do dead batteries cost?

Nothing. They are free of charge!

Decline Jokes More Decline Jokes

Why does Kylo Ren decline all my raid invites in WoW?

Cause he been solo.

Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

Insufficient funds.

Press Jokes More Press Jokes

How do you know when there's a elephant under your bed?

Your nose is pressed against the ceiling.

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing