Press Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda-pressing.

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

Why didn't the weightlifter like doing chest exercises with Coke cans?

Because it was soda pressing.

What happened when the coke bottle was run over by the steamroller?

He was soda pressed.

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

Why'd the factory worker hate their job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

How do you know when there's a elephant under your bed?

Your nose is pressed against the ceiling.

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Replace Jokes More Replace Jokes

How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. The light bulb you remove and the light bulb you replace it with.

How do you always keep your shoes tied?

Replace the laces with earphones.

Gang Jokes More Gang Jokes

What do you call a gang of penguins?

A ganguin

What do you call a gang of tires?

A rubber band

Sprite Jokes More Sprite Jokes

Why does NASA drink sprite?

Because they couldn't get 7up

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

Chinese Man Jokes More Chinese Man Jokes

U.N. Jokes More U.N. Jokes

Who makes coffee for the U.N.?

The French Press Secretary!

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did the man get a job as a horse handler?

He wanted stable employment

Why did Ted get fired from his job?

Because he would only do the minimum?

Mrs. Claus Jokes More Mrs. Claus Jokes

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?

Looks like rein dear.

What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her?

You're getting too wrapped up in your work!

Force Jokes More Force Jokes

What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production?

Role tied.

What do you call a group of armed nuns enforcing the status quo?

A force of habit