Press Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda-pressing.

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

Why didn't the weightlifter like doing chest exercises with Coke cans?

Because it was soda pressing.

What happened when the coke bottle was run over by the steamroller?

He was soda pressed.

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

Why'd the factory worker hate their job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

How do you know when there's a elephant under your bed?

Your nose is pressed against the ceiling.

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Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What's a sharks favorite game?

Swallow the leader. *This joke has been brought to you by my 8 year old's math homework.*

What can bring out your inner child?

A coathanger.

Sprite Jokes More Sprite Jokes

What is a ghost's favorite drink?

Sprite

Why does NASA drink sprite?

Because they couldn't get 7up

Crusher Jokes More Crusher Jokes

Why does the can crusher hate his job?

Because it's soda pressing.

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda-pressing.

Decline Jokes More Decline Jokes

Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

Insufficient funds.

Why does Kylo Ren decline all my raid invites in WoW?

Cause he been solo.

Clau Jokes More Clau Jokes

What does Santa call his wife at tax time?

A dependent Claus.

Why can't Santa play in the NBA?

He has a no-trade Claus

Statement Jokes More Statement Jokes

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Chinese Man Jokes More Chinese Man Jokes

Monastery Jokes More Monastery Jokes

What did the Gregorian monk say when he was kicked out of the monastery?

Give me one more chants!

What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.