Force Jokes

What do you call it when old people are forced into slavery?

Indentured servitude.

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What do you call a Bear who is just learning to use the force?

A PANDAwan learner.

What do you call a group of armed nuns enforcing the status quo?

A force of habit

What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.

How is Ducktape like the Force?

It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds everything the galaxy together. Edit:Duct Tape I know, I was tired

What would Steve Urkel say if he used The Force?

Jedi do that?

Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?

Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.

Why couldn't Frodo drop the Ring into Mt. Doom?

Force of Hobbit.

What did the science teacher say when the kid was experimenting with magnets?

May the force be with you

What did Darth Vader say to the Internet?

May the force e-with you.

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

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What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?

I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

What do jedi hate the most?

Forced jokes.

What do you get when you cross a Jedi with a nun?

A force of habit

Why couldn't the Jedi open the door?

He didn't use enough force...

Why was the doctor forced to leave work early?

The hospital ran all out of patience

What do Jedi say on May 4th?

May the force be with you just like every other day because they have no concept of our Gregorian calendar.

Why is the Force like duct tape?

It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together.

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production?

Role tied.

Why did Darth Vader get suspended from the Police?

He was under investigation for excessive use of Force

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What dog would you want on your American football team?

A golden receiver!

What did the American accountant say to his British counterpart?

Mind the GAAP.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What do you get...... when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and and agnostic?

Answer(/s "Someone who lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog")

What did the chicken say after laying an egg?

Oeuf!

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did the bowling pins stop working?

They went on strike!

Why did the bicycle stop moving?

Because it was two-tiered.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How did the sperm cross the road?

I put the wrong socks on today.

How do fast food restaurants make so much money?

OC "They flip burgers for profit!" Just thought of this at a baseball game today, kinda quirky and simple!

Lead Jokes More Lead Jokes

What is the leading cause of dry skin?

Bath towels...

Why are LED's a good investment?

Because they always diode.

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday?

Tell her a joke on a Monday!

Why do physicists have such a hard time figuring out why their experiments fail Monday through Thursday?

Causal fridays.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you use to cut the ocean?

A seasaw

What does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella for?

Fo Drizzle!

Carpet Jokes More Carpet Jokes

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?

He wanted to see the floor show!

What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile?

A carpet.