Force Jokes

What do you call it when old people are forced into slavery?

Indentured servitude.

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What do you call a Bear who is just learning to use the force?

A PANDAwan learner.

What do you call a group of armed nuns enforcing the status quo?

A force of habit

What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.

Why does Luke Skywalker never have trouble getting laid?

Because he always uses the force.

How is Ducktape like the Force?

It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds everything the galaxy together. Edit:Duct Tape I know, I was tired

What would you call a terrorist organisation run by wielders of the dark side of the force?

ISITH

What would Steve Urkel say if he used The Force?

Jedi do that?

Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?

Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.

Why couldn't Frodo drop the Ring into Mt. Doom?

Force of Hobbit.

What did the science teacher say when the kid was experimenting with magnets?

May the force be with you

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What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?

A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Why do you want to be Jedi?

Imagines using 'the force' to steal everyone's cats and building a cat army To keep the peace

What did Darth Vader say to the Internet?

May the force e-with you.

What do you call the family members of the Force?

Force-kin My friend made this up today while talking about Star Wars.

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

What's the difference between a kid and a drawer?

A drawer won't scream when I force my junk into it.

What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?

I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

What do clothes and religion have in common?

Someone invented them and forced them on everyone.

What do jedi hate the most?

Forced jokes.

How about some snappy one-liners?

Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.

What do you get when you cross a Jedi with a nun?

A force of habit

Why couldn't the Jedi open the door?

He didn't use enough force...

Why was the doctor forced to leave work early?

The hospital ran all out of patience

What do Jedi say on May 4th?

May the force be with you just like every other day because they have no concept of our Gregorian calendar.

Why is the Force like duct tape?

It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together.

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production?

Role tied.

Why did Stephen get an A on his test?

He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

What do you call it when someone forces you to watch them take their clothes off?

A power strip.

Why did Darth Vader get suspended from the Police?

He was under investigation for excessive use of Force

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What's the definition of the perfect woman?

Four feet tall, fold back teeth, flat head so you can rest your beer on it, and turns into a pizza at midnight.

Why do we measure snakes in inches?

Because they don't have any feet!

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What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

What did Darth Vader do when his iTunes stopped responding?

He force quit.

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What did YOU think I'm talking about?

Weirdos!!

What are your desires?

Me: My desires are..imagines having a talking Pug named Maurice that I watch Netflix with...Unconventional.

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How does a road reply when you ask it how work is going?

It's tiring.

What do you call a veterinarian that can only work on one animal?

A doctor.

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What's the first thing you do when attacked by a gang of clowns?

Go straight for the juggler.

What's the difference between a gang of pygmy's and a women's track team?

One is a Cunning group of Runts.....

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What's the difference between organized crime and the government?

Only one of them is organized. Couldn't help but post this. Went to see a former mafia boss today, and that joke was told leading up to him speaking.

Why are LED's a good investment?

Because they always diode.

Force Kin Jokes More Force Kin Jokes

What do you call the family members of the Force?

Force-kin My friend made this up today while talking about Star Wars.

Why is Darth Vader's helmet so phallic?

Because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin.

Air Force Jokes More Air Force Jokes

Which of the American forces is the most patriotic?

The Air Force, because its US AF.

Why did the bird join he air force?

He wanted to be a parrot trooper!