Monastery Jokes

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in a monastery?

Nun.

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What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.

How many pretty girls are there at a monastery?

Nun.

What did the Gregorian monk say when he was kicked out of the monastery?

Give me one more chants!

Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners of the monastery?

Because they have no attachments.

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Chant Jokes More Chant Jokes

What do romantic fish sing to each other?

Salmon-chanted evening!

What did the blonde Buddhist say when she finished her 88th prayer?

I literally chant even...

Gang Jokes More Gang Jokes

What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.

What do you call a gang of penguins?

A ganguin

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do women and police cars have in common?

They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

What did the woman say to the guy in Naval intelligence?

You really have a smart uniform.

Monk Jokes More Monk Jokes

What did the monk say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

Why do monks wear the same clothes every day?

Because old habits die hard.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What's the difference between a worm and an apple?

Have you ever tried worm pie!

Why do beta fish fight each other?

Because they're trying to figure out who's the betta fish

Pretty Girl Jokes More Pretty Girl Jokes

What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl?

I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!

What's the difference between a pretty girl and an apple?

One you squeeze to get cider, the other you get 'side her to squeeze.

Nun Jokes More Nun Jokes

What do you call a nun lost in the woods?

A Roamin Catholic.

Why are nuns like a brand new TV?

You need a knife to get in the box.

Door Jokes More Door Jokes

When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar.

How do you depress a room full of geeks?

Hold the door! I'm a leaf on the wind!