Monastery Jokes

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in a monastery?

Nun.

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What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.

How many pretty girls are there at a monastery?

Nun.

What did the Gregorian monk say when he was kicked out of the monastery?

Give me one more chants!

Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners of the monastery?

Because they have no attachments.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Change Why do we need change (It's cool, I go to a Lutheran church)

How many feminists does it takes to change a lightbulb?

One. ###And it's NOT funny!!!

Door Jokes More Door Jokes

Who's there! Alexia! Alexia who?

Alexia again to open this door!

Why did the gentleman hold the door?

Because he was dying to do so.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many blind men would it take to change a light bulb?

Why would a blind man need a light bulb?

How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to put in the new one, and two to sing about how good the old one was.

Vacuum Jokes More Vacuum Jokes

Why roboticize vacuuming?

It's all instant gratification. It's the crack of cleaning.

Why do dogs hate outer space?

Because they strongly dislike vacuums.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's 6" long and women love it?

100$ bill.

Why do women aged 40+ not play hide and seek?

Cause nobody would be looking for them.

Chant Jokes More Chant Jokes

What do romantic fish sing to each other?

Salmon-chanted evening!

What did the blonde Buddhist say when she finished her 88th prayer?

I literally chant even...

Namaste Jokes More Namaste Jokes

What did the lazy monk say?

Namaste..right here

What does a dirty hippie say after you ask him to get off your couch?

Namaste

Attachment Jokes More Attachment Jokes

What is the definition of a Wife?

An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.

Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners of the monastery?

Because they have no attachments.