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Nun Jokes

How does a Nun save herself from being poisoned?

Nun chucks.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile.

What the difference between a nun in a bathtub & a nurse in the bathtub?

One has soul full of hope & one has a hole full of soap... I'll walk myself out, sorry first post here

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in a monastery?

Nun.

Why nuns don't wear bras?

God supports everything.

What do you call a sleep walking nun?

A roamin' Catholic.

What do you call a sister who works for you?

Nun of your business.

What's the difference between a Nun and a lady taking a bath?

The Nun has hope in her soul and the lady taking a bath has soap in her hole.

What do you call a nun in space?

Dead.

What do nuns use for skincare?

Extra virgin oil.

What do you call a nun using katana?

Nunja.

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What do you call two nuns playing a bongo?

A conundrum.

What do you call a nun who's drinking a pint?

Catholic

What kind of fun do priests have?

Nun

Why are nuns like a brand new TV?

You need a knife to get in the box.

How many lovers do the religious have?

Nun!

What did the nun wear to the casino?

Her gambling habit.

Why do Nuns always wear the same thing?

It's a habit.

What is black and white and black and white and black and white?

A nun falling down stairs

What do you call a nun on the run?

A ROMAN CATHOLIC!

Why do nuns always travel in pairs?

Because one nun follows the other nun to make sure that nun doesn't get none.

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Why do nuns hate laundry day?

They always fall back on old habits.

What do you call a legless nun?

Virgin immobile. Loosely based off the nun in a wheelchair joke.

What do you call a nun lost in the woods?

A Roamin Catholic.

What's black and white and red, and has trouble going through a revolving door?

A nun with a javelin through her head

What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

The nun has hope in her soul!

Why did the nun always go to the same bar?

Habit

What do you call a nun that sleep-walks?

A) A Roamin' Catholic b) An unconscious habit

What's the most fun a monk can have?

Nun

What is the Pope's favorite type of woman?

Nun

What is black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & blue?

A nun falling down the stairs

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What do you call a Nun that bites her nails?

A bad Habit.

How did the Catholic Priest finish the marathon?

He was second to Nun.

Why was the nun hooked up to an IV of holy water?

She was taking god's name in vein.

What's black and white, and red all over. And cant fit through a revolving door?

A nun with a javelin through her.

What do you call a nun that works for your company?

Nun of your business.

What do you call a store that sells terribly made Nun appeal?

The Bad Habit.

What's black, white, red, and can't turn around in an elevator?

A nun with a javelin through her head.

What's black, white, black, white, black, brown, black brown, black, black, black, black, black?

A nun on a spit

How do nuns surf the web?

On the Hymnternet.

What is black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & blue?

A nun falling down the stairs

How does a nun lose her virginity?

Dresses up as an altar boy

What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?

Non-habit forming

Why do Nuns always wear Black &amp?

White? No particular reason, it's just a habit they have.

What kind of fun does a priest have?

Nun.

Why does it take so long for a nun to get her clothes?

It takes 21 days to make a habit.

How many pretty girls are there at a monastery?

Nun.

How many nuns can a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns?

Nun.

Why did the nun call the Womens helpline?

Because she was touched by Jesus.

Whats black and white and red all over?

A nun in a car accident.

How many Women Priest are there?

Nun.

What do you call the Mother Superior of a corrupt convent?

Nun the Wiser

Why do athletes prefer nuns to time their laps?

Because when a nun times anything it's zero. (0*n=0)

How many nuns are there in a temple?

Nun.

Why did the nun always wear a slip?

Sheer habit.

Why did the nun swear when she got her new outfit?

It was a bad habit.

What do you call a nun who's gone to Heaven?

Nun of the above.

What do nuns do?

Nunthing

What is black and white and screams?

A. A nun falling down a flight of stairs.

What do you call a Nun on a motorcycle?

A bad habit

What do you call 2 Nuns &amp a Cheerleader?

2 Tightends &amp a Wide Reciever

What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?

Sister Matic!

How many Catholics can you fit in a habit?

Nun

What did the priest say about consorting with the sisters of the church?

Nun is better!

How many women fits in a monk monastery?

Nun.

What do you get when you cross a Jedi with a nun?

A force of habit

What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken?

A pecking order.

What's black and white black and white black and white?

A nun rolling down a hill.

What Do Nuns Call Air Conditioning In A Prison?

A convent!

How many nuns would a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nunes?

None.

What do you call a nun who is outside her local calling area?

A roamin' Catholic.*

What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?

Sister-Matic

What's a nuns favorite day of the week?

Sununday.

Why did the Smackhead kick the habit?

He didn't like nuns.

What's the difference between a nun in church and a nun in the bath?

One has hope in her soul...

What is black, white, black, white...?

A nun falling down the stairs

How many nuns were at the library?

Absolutely nun

What's the difference between a nurse and a nun?

A nun only serves one God.

What is the best nickname for a nun in heaven?

If you guessed "Heaven nun" or "Angel nun" you're wrong. The answer was "Nun of the Above".

Which punchline do you like better?

What do you call a nun that sleep-walks a) A Roamin' Catholic b) An unconscious habit

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What's the best thing about bee's?

It's knees.

What is a chiropractor's favorite chemical element?

Knee-on!

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"

Pop,goes the weasel.

What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

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What's long, black and doesn't work?

The unemployment line.

What is your best casino joke?

I work in a casino and want to hear your best one. Here is mine: what's the difference between a canoe and a baccarat player? A canoe sometimes tips!

Heaven Jokes More Heaven Jokes

Where do people go when they die?

Me: Heaven. 3: I don't want to go there. Me: Why not 3: It's full of dead people.

What does Debbie Reynolds sing in heaven?

Good mourning, good mourning, good mourning!!!

Travel Jokes More Travel Jokes

What travels around the world but stays in one corner?

A stamp.

What did Santa say when he had to travel through the desert?

My chestnuts are roasting

Soap Jokes More Soap Jokes

What did the soap say to the hands as they were being washed?

I think we're in sink.

What kind of soap do you use to clean a dirty joke?

Bawdy wash.

Roamin Jokes More Roamin Jokes

What do you call a traveling Pope?

A Roamin' Catholic.

What do you call a nun who is outside her local calling area?

A roamin' Catholic.*

Soul Jokes More Soul Jokes

Why do Black people like Kia so much?

Because it has Soul.

What's the difference between a woman in the bath and a woman at church?

Well... the woman at church has hope in her soul.