Chuck Jokes

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A whole chuck-load.

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What would a woodchuck do if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Go chuck itself of course.

How do the Chinese select their baby names?

They chuck a tin can down the stairs Ping Wong ching Pang

How much wood can Chuck Norris if Chuck Norris could chuck wood?

Chuck Norris would just stare at the wood, and it would chuck itself out of fear.

How many nuns can a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns?

Nun.

Why are there no Chuck Norris knock-knock jokes?

Because Chuck only has to hit the door ONCE.

How many nuns would a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nunes?

None.

What's up, Chuck?

Not much, but my name's not Chuck" *vomits*

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema?

Miss most of the film!

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

Script Jokes More Script Jokes

Who would win in a fight between John Cena and Chuck Norris?

Depends on who wrote the script.

Texas Jokes More Texas Jokes

Where do you go if a twister is about to touchdown in Texas?

The Dallas Cowboy Stadium, a touchdown never happens there!

What does a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce have in common?

Either way, someone is losing a trailer.

Tongue Twister Jokes More Tongue Twister Jokes

What's a tongue twister?

When your tang gets all tongueled up.

Upset Jokes More Upset Jokes

Why was the fruit really upset he had to get married in a big church?

Oc Because he cantaloupe.

Why were the melons upset when they were denied a marriage license?

Because it means they *cantaloupe*

Presence Jokes More Presence Jokes

What does Eckhart Tolle get for Christmas?

Presence

What did the Buddhist get for Christmas?

Presence.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What's the difference between Elton John's chin and Tiger Woods?

Tiger Woods hasn't hit as many balls.

What do you call The Dynamic Duo after they got hit by a steamroller?

Flatman and Ribbon

Fear Jokes More Fear Jokes

How do you get over a fear of elevators?

Just take some steps to avoid them!

What disease do horses fear most?

Hay Fever!