Texas Jokes

Why is Texas the "Lone Star" state?

It was rated out of five.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

How can you tell if someone is from Texas?

Oh don't worry, they'll tell you

What gets wet as it dries?

Texas after a drought.

Why did God bless Texas?

He didn't want to upset Chuck Norris.

How do you know if someone's from Texas?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Why did they stop feeding cows the round bales of hay in Texas?

Because they weren't getting a square meal.

What's a Tennessee tornado and a Texas divorce have in common?

Someone's gonna lose a trailer.

What do you call a C-average student from Texas?

Mr. President

When you are driving though the field in Texas, you see a lot of cattle. They are very special. Wanna know why?

They are out standing in the field

What's the secret to a long life?

I said, "Never order vegetarian in Texas"

What does a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce have in common?

Either way, someone is losing a trailer.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

Where do you go if a twister is about to touchdown in Texas?

The Dallas Cowboy Stadium, a touchdown never happens there!

Why is an Oklahoma divorce like a Texas twister?

Somebody's 'bout to lose a trailer.

What do a UT Austin student and a Texas A&ampM student have in common?

They both applied to UT Austin

What do a Texas tornado and an Oklahoma divorce have in common?

Either way someone's losing a trailer.

Why is it illegal for a person living in Virginia to be buried in Texas?

Because they're still alive.

You might also enjoy:

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

Why can't Z generationers swim?

Their phones would get wet.

Who's There -Panther -Panther who?

Panther no pants, I'm going swimming!

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What's you experience with "Friends with benefits"?

The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was.......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.

Why did the couple bring a melon to their honeymoon?

Because they cantaloupe...

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What do you have when you have a cow and two ducks?

Milk and quackers.

What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand?

Cows-mopolitan!

Muslim Jokes More Muslim Jokes

Why was the Muslim arrested for speeding during Ramadan?

Because he was going *to fast*!

What is a Muslims favorite type of vinegar?

BalIslamic

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop joint pain?

Turn it around.

What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming?

Paul stop monkeying around!

Bless Jokes More Bless Jokes

What did the girl say when the Statue of Liberty sneezed?

God bless America.

What do you say when God sneezes?

Go bless yourself.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why isn't the Vice President running for the Democratic Nomination this year?

He's Biden his time.

Why can you only ran through a campground and not run?

Because it's past tents.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry we closed 18 seconds ago and I've just cashed up.

What do you mean you were really drunk?

I already changed my Facebook relationship status for you.