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Why did God bless Texas?

He didn't want to upset Chuck Norris.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the man put his car in the oven?

Because he wanted a hot rod.

Why did Fred put band aids in the refrigerator?

He wanted cold cuts.

Texas Jokes More Texas Jokes

What's the secret to a long life?

I said, "Never order vegetarian in Texas"

Where do you go if a twister is about to touchdown in Texas?

The Dallas Cowboy Stadium, a touchdown never happens there!

God Jokes More God Jokes

What are the three biggest lies an Oklahoma State fan tells?

I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

Why does God love atheists?

Because they don't bother Him with incessant prayer.

Chuck Norris Jokes More Chuck Norris Jokes

What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

My Favorite, When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

How much wood......could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck was Chuck Norris?

All of it.*

Upset Jokes More Upset Jokes

Why were the melons upset when they were denied a marriage license?

Because it means they *cantaloupe*

Why was the fruit really upset he had to get married in a big church?

Oc Because he cantaloupe.

Bless Jokes More Bless Jokes

Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who?

Bless you!

What did the girl say when the Statue of Liberty sneezed?

God bless America.