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Why did God bless Texas?

He didn't want to upset Chuck Norris.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the little girl's parents want for Christmas?

A better son.

Whats the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?

One of them is actually wanted!

Texas Jokes More Texas Jokes

What does a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce have in common?

Either way, someone is losing a trailer.

How can you tell if someone is from Texas?

Oh don't worry, they'll tell you

God Jokes More God Jokes

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

Who has more money than God?

His Ex-Wife.

Chuck Norris Jokes More Chuck Norris Jokes

Who would win in a fight between John Cena and Chuck Norris?

Depends on who wrote the script.

What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

My Favorite, When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Upset Jokes More Upset Jokes

Why was drug addicted Moses upset when he was floating down a river?

Because he was in Da-Nile

Why did God bless Texas?

He didn't want to upset Chuck Norris.

Bless Jokes More Bless Jokes

How do priests make holy water?

They bless the hell out of it.

What did the girl say when the Statue of Liberty sneezed?

God bless America.