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What did I do before Twitter?

Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY!!

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Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What do you call a family in which everyone from grand parents to grand kids smoke weed?

Joint Family.

What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire?

Mourning wood

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

How is Twitter like Game of Thrones?

There's 140 characters, and they are all terrible.

What's the difference between Twitter and Game of Thrones?

Twitter only allows 140 characters.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What did Mike Tyson say when asked about the time he fought the God of Asgard?

The loser was 'thore'

What kind of car does god drive?

A Christler