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What do you call a C-average student from Texas?

Mr. President

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What do you call someone who lost an election by 2 million votes?

Mr. President.

What do you call a C-average student from Texas?

Mr. President

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Why is it illegal for a person living in Virginia to be buried in Texas?

Because they're still alive.

How do you pick up women in Waco, Texas?

With a DustBuster.