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Why is Texas the "Lone Star" state?

It was rated out of five.

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Which art piece won the Texas Muhammad cartoon contest?

Two chalk outlines.

What do you call a C-average student from Texas?

Mr. President

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Why is the new Zork game rated M for mature?

I guess it's too grue-some.

Why didn't the pirate get into the movie?

It was rated rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!