Why is Texas the "Lone Star" state?

It was rated out of five.

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Why did they stop feeding cows the round bales of hay in Texas?

Because they weren't getting a square meal.

Where do you go if a twister is about to touchdown in Texas?

The Dallas Cowboy Stadium, a touchdown never happens there!

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Why couldn't the 5 year old go to the pirate movie?

It was rated PG-13.

Why didn't the pirate get into the movie?

It was rated rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!