What two places can you find a California roll?

Sushi bars and stop signs.

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What did the divers find the sunken Korean ferry had hit?

Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

What would you do of you found Chicago, Ill.?

Call Baltimore, M.D.

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Why is there only 50 shades of grey?

Why not 5,000 What's stopping them

When are YOU going to start having kids?

Me: When are you going to stop

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What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

Why was christopher never in the same place?

Because he's always Walken

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

You take the pizza delivery sign off

Why did the feminist sign up for football?

She wanted to be the center of attention.

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Whose fault is it that California always has earthquakes?

San Andreas fault.

What do you call a watermelon in California?

A melon

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How do I know he was French, do you ask?

He went oui, oui.

Why should you never mention the number 288?

Because it's two gross! (A gross is a measurement unit for "144". So 2 * 144 = 288. Or "two gross".)

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What two places can you find a California roll?

Sushi bars and stop signs.