What two places can you find a California roll?

Sushi bars and stop signs.

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How many buzzfeed employees does it take to screw a lightbulb?

Click here to find out!

How do you find a vegan at your dinner party?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

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How do you stop a thundering herd of Apes?

Hold up your arm and say "Go back you didn't say 'May I'"

What would a pig name a chain of food stores?

Stop "N Slop Markets"

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What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

How do ghosts fly from one place to another?

By scareplane.

Sign Jokes More Sign Jokes

What does the sign at a nudist Buddhist beach say?

No Bhikkhunis(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhikkhuni) allowed.

What did the sign say on the abandoned nuclear reactor?

Gone fission

California Jokes More California Jokes

What happens when the fog lifts in California?

UCLA.

Why is Reggae so popular in Utah right now?

Because it was popular in California 10 years ago.

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Why do chickens sit on eggs?

Because they don't have any chairs. Source: my five-year-old.

Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup?

Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper.

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What two places can you find a California roll?

Sushi bars and stop signs.