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When are YOU going to start having kids?

Me: When are you going to stop

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do you start a raid in Ethiopia?

Staple food to the ceiling!

How can Euchre and Marriage be similar?

Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Where's the cake?

Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.

What did Helen Keller say after she finished her bowl of cereal for breakfast?

I may be blind, but I can see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Where do ghost trains stop?

At devil crossings.

What did the spaghetti say to the postmodernist ravioli?

Stop being such an intellectual im-pasta.