Why should you never mention the number 288?

Because it's two gross! (A gross is a measurement unit for "144". So 2 * 144 = 288. Or "two gross".)

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What did Mario tell his girlfriend when he broke up with her?

It's not a you, it's a me, Mario!

How can you tell if a Canadian is an existentialist?

Instead of saying "I'm an existentialist, eh." They will say "I'm an existentialist,... be."

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What did Samsung Galaxy S 5 say to the iPhone 6?

Get bent" I hope you guys like this joke. I just came up with it.

Why was the orphan so successful?

When he was told to "go big or go home," he only had one option. (I've posted this joke here before, but I believe I've been the first, so if you recognize it as a repost it's because I wanted to tell it again!)

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Why did Avogadro have trouble picking up chicks?

Because his number couldn't fit in their phones

What does the number 668 represent?

The of the Beast.

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What do we call a wireless mouse?

Hamster.

What is the difference between leaves and a car?

One you brush and rake, the other you rush and brake.

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Why should you never mention the number 288?

Because it's two gross! (A gross is a measurement unit for "144". So 2 * 144 = 288. Or "two gross".)

Which kind of ink do you put in your computer's printer?

Black Red or Iced Iced Ink Well yes you do but I didn't want to mention it.