What's the secret to a long life?

I said, "Never order vegetarian in Texas"

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Texas Jokes More Texas Jokes

What's the difference between Texas and stupid?

Nothing.

Why has Mexico never won olympic gold?

All those who can run, jump and swim are in Texas.

Vegetarian Jokes More Vegetarian Jokes

What's a Monk's favorite breakfast food?

Well, they're vegetarians so probably not what you're thinking...

What do vegetarian zombies eat?

Grrrrrainnnnnssss.

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What do you call someone who keeps trying the same thing again and again, yet expects different results?

A weapons designer for the First Order.

Why is it so hard to order pizza from me?

I'll update with the hilarious punchline later...

Secret Jokes More Secret Jokes

What's his secret?

He's in a wheelchair

Why can't you keep secrets in a bank?

Because of all the tellers.