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What's the secret to a long life?

I said, "Never order vegetarian in Texas"

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Texas Jokes More Texas Jokes

Why has Mexico never won olympic gold?

All those who can run, jump and swim are in Texas.

How do you know if someone's from Texas?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Vegetarian Jokes More Vegetarian Jokes

What do call you someone who feeds on comatose patients and pizza?

A vegetarian.

What do Native Americans call vegetarians?

Poor hunters

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

Why did Snoke get his meal before Kylo Ren?

Because he made the First Order!

Why was the dyslexic rabbit disappointed when he received the solid gold bar he had ordered via the internet?

He thought the ad said '24 carrots'

Secret Jokes More Secret Jokes

Why shouldn't you tell secrets when a clock is around?

Because time will tell.

Where does a toilet keep his secrets?

In his diarrhea.