What's the secret to a long life?

I said, "Never order vegetarian in Texas"

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Texas Jokes More Texas Jokes

When you are driving though the field in Texas, you see a lot of cattle. They are very special. Wanna know why?

They are out standing in the field

Why is it illegal for a person living in Virginia to be buried in Texas?

Because they're still alive.

Vegetarian Jokes More Vegetarian Jokes

What do vegetarian zombies eat?

Grrrrrainnnnnssss.

How do you know who in the room is a vegetarian?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What did the made-to-order breakfast dish say to Taylor Swift at the Grammys?

Omelette you finish.

Why are people always having their pizzas delivered?

Just order them without liver.

Secret Jokes More Secret Jokes

Why can't clocks keep secrets?

Because, time will always tell.

Why can't you tell secrets in a corn field?

Because, corn has ears!