Why can't clocks keep secrets?

Because, time will always tell.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Where do weirdos ride their bicycles?

Psycho-paths. (as told by one of my coworkers)

How can you tell if someone's a redditor,in real life?

Ask them if they're on reddit. I'm sorry.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How did Genghis Khan conquer Mongolia?

One steppe at a time.

What type of gun do time travelers use?

A Clock-18

Clock Jokes More Clock Jokes

Why did the clock phone the ruler?

Because desperate times call for desperate measures....

What did the clock do after the good meal?

He went back four seconds.

Secret Jokes More Secret Jokes

Why shouldn't you tell a pirate your secrets?

They ain't private ears.

What's the secret to a long life?

I said, "Never order vegetarian in Texas"