Vegetarian Jokes

What's a Monk's favorite breakfast food?

Well, they're vegetarians so probably not what you're thinking...

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What do Driving Testers and Vegetarians have in common?

They are both very pedantic

What did Darth Vader say to the vegetarian stormtrooper?

I find your lack of steak disturbing.

How do you know if someone is a vegetarian?

He is going to tell you.

How do you know who in the room is a vegetarian?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

What do vegetarian zombies want?

Graaaaiiiiinss!

How do you know when there's a vegetarian at your bbq?

They'll tell you.

What kind of joke do you tell to a vegetarian?

One they've never herbivore.

What's the secret to a long life?

I said, "Never order vegetarian in Texas"

How can you tell if a person is a vegetarian?

Don't worry. They'll tell you they're a vegetarian.

Who are the hamburgers favourite people?

Vegetarians!

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What do vegetarian zombies eat?

Grrrrrainnnnnssss.

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What does a vegetarian hunter say before dinner?

Lettuce prey

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Lettuce prey

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How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?

The bow is moving.

Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?

So he can tell if he is coming or going.

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What is the difference between diarrhea and a regular stool?

You can't gbrblblblbl(gargling noise) with a regular stool.

What do you give to an elephant who suffering from diarrhea?

Space.

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What do you call a Chinese food truck?

A Wok in the Park

How many Chinese workers does it take to make a Smartphone?

I dunno. Ask the kids.

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What did the mathematician say about vertical videos?

I'm sorry, but the video you filmed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

How do mathematicians solve constipation?

They just work it out with a pencil!

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Why did the marine park worker feel aimless?

Because they lacked porpoises.

Why does Skeleton Soup taste so poor?

It lacks body

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What sound does Korean bread make when it hits a wall?

Bang! (!)

What does a North Korean and a ginger have in common?

Neither has a Seoul