Record Jokes

Why didnt Spock make a record of their voyage?

Because it was deep space. (the joke is how the outer space was very deep)

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What kind of animal can record video?

A cam-el. Get it, because a camera records things and a camel is a animal.

Where does Phil Collins record all of his music?

The stu-stu-studio.

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

How do birds record their songs?

On duck tape!

What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops?

Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

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Consume Jokes More Consume Jokes

Why do whales have really good immune systems?

They consume a lot of vitamin SEA!

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

Collection Jokes More Collection Jokes

What'd they call that place with the collection of escape artist memorabilia?

Now museum, now you don't

What's the difference between a collection and an addiction?

I don't have an alcohol collection.

Bill Cosby Jokes More Bill Cosby Jokes

What does Bill Cosby and a ninja have in common?

You don't see either one coming.

George Michael Jokes More George Michael Jokes

What did Darth Vader say to Admiral Motti after browsing his collection of George Michael records?

I find your lack of Faith disturbing.

Why was Darth Vader upset when he heard George Michael will only play new songs at his concerts?

He found his lack of Faith disturbing.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What was the first thing the stowaway to Mars said after he landed?

Just out of Curiosity...

Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.

Darth Vader Jokes More Darth Vader Jokes

What do you call it when Darth Vader moves one foot?

The Imperial March

What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

21 Year Jokes More 21 Year Jokes

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

Faith Jokes More Faith Jokes

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

What do Bill Gates and the Pope have in common?

They've both put their faith in the cloud.