Record Jokes

Why didnt Spock make a record of their voyage?

Because it was deep space. (the joke is how the outer space was very deep)

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What kind of animal can record video?

A cam-el. Get it, because a camera records things and a camel is a animal.

Where does Phil Collins record all of his music?

The stu-stu-studio.

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

How do birds record their songs?

On duck tape!

What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops?

Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

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Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What animal can only survive in temperate climates?

A lukeworm.

What did people start calling the medical school that allowed animals to study medicine?

The hippocampus.

Music Jokes More Music Jokes

What type of music do they play at Chinese Restaurants?

Wok n' Roll

What kind of music do wind turbines listen to?

They're huge metal fans.

Video Jokes More Video Jokes

Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent?

Because they contain a lot of fowl language.

Why did the video of the eighth note get taken off of youtube?

It got flagged.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What do you usually find with four Catholics?

A fifth.

What did Darth Vader say to Admiral Motti after browsing his collection of George Michael records?

I find your lack of Faith disturbing.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why didn't Wilma let Fred in when he was banging at the door?

Because she was in the shower and didn't hear him because the elephant stump was on full blast.

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint.

Camera Jokes More Camera Jokes

What do you call a camera that shoots out true facts about an ancient Phoenician city?

A Canon, Canaan-canon cannon... (I'm not sorry...)

What do you call a camera with severe mood swings?

A BiPolaroid

Long Time Jokes More Long Time Jokes

How old is your Grandma?

I dunno but we've had him a long time.

Whats the difference between a guy who has a new Mercedes and a guy who has an old Mercedes?

The guy who has a new Mercedes is rich. The guy who has an old Mercedes has been rich for a longer time.

Consume Jokes More Consume Jokes

Why didn't galactus consume the milky way?

He was galactose-intolerant.

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.