Record Jokes

Why didnt Spock make a record of their voyage?

Because it was deep space. (the joke is how the outer space was very deep)

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What kind of animal can record video?

A cam-el. Get it, because a camera records things and a camel is a animal.

Where does Phil Collins record all of his music?

The stu-stu-studio.

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

How do birds record their songs?

On duck tape!

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops?

Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

What's all this?

Bracken: Well you told me to bring all my records with me and I did. Here's some by Willie Nelson Tammy Wynette and Garth Brooks...

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Germany Jokes More Germany Jokes

How many countries border Germany?

Nein!

Whats a Muslims favorite cologne?

GERMANY!!!!

Viola Jokes More Viola Jokes

What's the difference between a violin and a viola?

A viola burns longer.

What is the difference between a dog and a viola?

The dog knows when to stop scratching.

Faith Jokes More Faith Jokes

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

What do Bill Gates and the Pope have in common?

They've both put their faith in the cloud.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How do you stick things together like Fred Flinstone?

You add a dab of glue.

Why do men like breasts so much?

They prove men can concentrate on two things at once.

Korean Jokes More Korean Jokes

What do you call 'looking for a Korean'?

Seoul searching

What did the Korean family call their dog?

Stu

Music Jokes More Music Jokes

What exactly had the "NOW That's What I Call Music!" guy been listening to before?

Sound FX CDs Whale noises

What kind of music can't Ed Sheeran play?

Soul

Video Jokes More Video Jokes

What did the mathematician say about vertical videos?

I'm sorry, but the video you filmed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent?

Because they contain a lot of fowl language.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why are men like blenders?

You need one but you're not quite sure why.

What did the Psychiatrist say to the man who walked in wearing nothing but plastic wrap?

I can clearly see ur nuts.