Germany Jokes

What's the difference between Phil Collins and Germany?

We stopped Germany.

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Why doesn't Coffee get along with milk in Germany?

Cause it doesn't want to be latte. Sorry. I just came up with this lame joke. Downvotes ahoy!

What was the most popular TV show in Ancient Rome and Germany in early AD?

Whose Rhine Is It Anyway?

Why was the Turkey v Germany match called off?

There were too many fowls.

How do you call it, when the internet is not working in Germany?

InterNEIN

Why is Germany uninhabitable for cats?

They have nein lives!

What do you call Minecraft in Germany?

NEIN-CRAFT!

Why did Germany win so many battles in WW I?

They had baron.

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

What country are you most likely to get a disease?

GERMany.

Why are there no cats in Germany?

Because they have nein lives.

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How many goals did Germany score?

A brazillian

Why is it hard to sell bibles in Germany?

Because it's a Nietzsche Market.

Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?

Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

What country is ill?

Germany.

How do you greet a slice of bread in Germany?

Gluten tag! Ba-dum tss.

Where do bacteria like to vacation?

Germany

What do you call a boyscout in WWII-era Germany?

A knotzi.

Which country has the nicest children?

Germany. German children are kinder.

Why don't nervous vegans visit Germany?

They fear the wurst!

Why couldn't Germany win a world war?

Because they'd Russia lot

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Why did Snoop Dogg go to Germany?

For Schnitzel.

What do they call pastors in Germany?

A. German Shepherds.

What do you think is the biggest problem in Germany?

Uncertainty or indifference ' He answered: I don't know and I don't care!'

How many countries border Germany?

Nein!

How does Germany pay for all these refugees?

Krautfunding.

What s a Muslim s favorite cologne?

GERMANY!!!!

Why did Germany hold a ceremony for the Greek bankruptcy?

They wanted to give credit where credit was due.

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Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?

Cause they all have phones!

Why was the young strawberry upset?

Cause his mom was in a jam.

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What is the difference between a dog and a mailbox?

If you don't know you must lose a lot of mail.

Why did China lose WW2?

Because their weapons were made in China

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What did the donut say to the loaf of bread?

If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn't be hanging around this hole!

Why did the airplane crash?

The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is a Muslims favorite type of vinegar?

BalIslamic

What bee is forbidden to the Muslims?

Haram-bee

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What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek?

Fowl play!

Why was the Turkey v Germany match called off?

There were too many fowls.

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What sort of a car has your dad got?

I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas.

What do you call gas from the human body that NASA could impliment into fuel for their technology in the future?

Rocket Farts.