Germany Jokes

Who pays?

Germany.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

What's the difference between Phil Collins and Germany?

We stopped Germany.

Why does Germany have so many different kinds of bread?

Well, we had to do something with the ovens.

Why doesn't Coffee get along with milk in Germany?

Cause it doesn't want to be latte. Sorry. I just came up with this lame joke. Downvotes ahoy!

Why did France really surrender to Germany?

Just thought of this earlier in the shower... Had gas ever since.

What do you say when someone hands you a nice, ripe blunt in Germany?

Danke

Why did Germany lose WW2?

Three Reichs and you're out

What was the most popular TV show in Ancient Rome and Germany in early AD?

Whose Rhine Is It Anyway?

Why was the Turkey v Germany match called off?

There were too many fowls.

How do you call it, when the internet is not working in Germany?

InterNEIN

Why is Germany uninhabitable for cats?

They have nein lives!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

What do you call Minecraft in Germany?

NEIN-CRAFT!

Why did Germany win so many battles in WW I?

They had baron.

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

What country are you most likely to get a disease?

GERMany.

Why are there no cats in Germany?

Because they have nein lives.

How many goals did Germany score?

A brazillian

Why is it hard to sell bibles in Germany?

Because it's a Nietzsche Market.

Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?

Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

What country is ill?

Germany.

How do you greet a slice of bread in Germany?

Gluten tag! Ba-dum tss.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

Where do bacteria like to vacation?

Germany

What do you call a boyscout in WWII-era Germany?

A knotzi.

How disturbingly inappropriate would it be if "Thomas the Tank Engine" was set in early-1940s Germany?

ThomasDieKleineLokomotive

Which country has the nicest children?

Germany. German children are kinder.

Why don't nervous vegans visit Germany?

They fear the wurst!

What do you call riot police in Germany?

Kraut Control

Why couldn't Germany win a world war?

Because they'd Russia lot

Why did Snoop Dogg go to Germany?

For Schnitzel.

What do they call pastors in Germany?

A. German Shepherds.

What do you think is the biggest problem in Germany?

Uncertainty or indifference ' He answered: I don't know and I don't care!'

How many countries border Germany?

Nein!

How does Germany pay for all these refugees?

Krautfunding.

What s a Muslim s favorite cologne?

GERMANY!!!!

Why did Germany hold a ceremony for the Greek bankruptcy?

They wanted to give credit where credit was due.

What is Germany's favorite game?

Mein Kampf

You might also enjoy:

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What made the orange stop suddenly?

It just ran out of juice.

Who do you save?

America. Keep right on going and don't stop.

Different Kind Jokes More Different Kind Jokes

Why does Germany have so many different kinds of bread?

Well, we had to do something with the ovens.

Lame Joke Jokes More Lame Joke Jokes

Why doesn't Coffee get along with milk in Germany?

Cause it doesn't want to be latte. Sorry. I just came up with this lame joke. Downvotes ahoy!

What do you call a running gag on crutches?

A lame joke.

Olympic Jokes More Olympic Jokes

What are the chances you know an Olympic gymnast??

A stretch

Who poisoned the waters in the 2016 Olympics?

It was I, **RIO**!!!

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

What did the potato ask the cow?

Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes.

Why do you take baths in milk?

I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.

Bread Jokes More Bread Jokes

What do you call it when a German hits you with a loaf of bread?

Gluten Tag And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread Flour power And when a lot of people do it at the same time a rye-ot

What looks just like half a loaf of bread?

Its other half.

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

What is Kanye West's favorite breakfast food?

Omelette you finish.

Why can't Charlie Sheen finish the alphabet?

Because when he gets to 'P' it burns.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do frogs say that surf the internet?

Reddit reddit.. First joke i thought of.

Why were the inventors of the airplane correct in thinking they could fly?

Because they were Wright.