Germany Jokes

Who pays?

Germany.

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What's the difference between Phil Collins and Germany?

We stopped Germany.

Why does Germany have so many different kinds of bread?

Well, we had to do something with the ovens.

Why doesn't Coffee get along with milk in Germany?

Cause it doesn't want to be latte. Sorry. I just came up with this lame joke. Downvotes ahoy!

Why did France really surrender to Germany?

Just thought of this earlier in the shower... Had gas ever since.

What do you say when someone hands you a nice, ripe blunt in Germany?

Danke

Why did Germany lose WW2?

Three Reichs and you're out

Whats a Muslims favorite cologne?

GERMANY!!!!

What was the most popular TV show in Ancient Rome and Germany in early AD?

Whose Rhine Is It Anyway?

Why was the Turkey v Germany match called off?

There were too many fowls.

What is the national vegetable of Germany?

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How do you call it, when the internet is not working in Germany?

InterNEIN

Why is Germany uninhabitable for cats?

They have nein lives!

What do you call Minecraft in Germany?

NEIN-CRAFT!

Why did Germany win so many battles in WW I?

They had baron.

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

What country are you most likely to get a disease?

GERMany.

Why are there no cats in Germany?

Because they have nein lives.

How many goals did Germany score?

A brazillian

Why is it hard to sell bibles in Germany?

Because it's a Nietzsche Market.

Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?

Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

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What country is ill?

Germany.

How do you greet a slice of bread in Germany?

Gluten tag! Ba-dum tss.

Where do bacteria like to vacation?

Germany

What is most popular hearthstone deck in Germany?

Patron Warrior because Everyone Get in Here

What do you call a boyscout in WWII-era Germany?

A knotzi.

How disturbingly inappropriate would it be if "Thomas the Tank Engine" was set in early-1940s Germany?

ThomasDieKleineLokomotive

Which country has the nicest children?

Germany. German children are kinder.

Why does Poland stay from Germany?

A couple decades ago they had a three way with Russia that ended poorly

Why don't nervous vegans visit Germany?

They fear the wurst!

What do you call riot police in Germany?

Kraut Control

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What do you call a hot girl in Germany?

Tourist

Where would we be in the world without humour?

Germany.

Why are many electronics handbooks banned in Germany?

Diepole

Why couldn't Germany win a world war?

Because they'd Russia lot

Why was Germany in debt after WWII?

The gas bill was too high.

Why did Snoop Dogg go to Germany?

For Schnitzel.

Why was the horizontal plane judged in Germany?

It was x-axis

What do they call pastors in Germany?

A. German Shepherds.

What do you call a Germany virgin?

Good 'n' Tight

What do you think is the biggest problem in Germany?

Uncertainty or indifference ' He answered: I don't know and I don't care!'

How many countries border Germany?

Nein!

How does Germany pay for all these refugees?

Krautfunding.

What s a Muslim s favorite cologne?

GERMANY!!!!

Why did Germany hold a ceremony for the Greek bankruptcy?

They wanted to give credit where credit was due.

What is Germany's favorite game?

Mein Kampf

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What is the bounciest place in France?

The dordogne.

Why do most French recipes require only one egg?

In France, one egg is *un oeuf*

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I can ride my bike indoors and professor oak can't do anything to stop me.

Why did the liontamer stop using WinZip?

Because lions only understand.rars

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What do the janitors clean the Reddit office with?

Derpentine.

How does Google clean their facilities?

They use Google Mops.

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What do you call Minecraft in Germany?

NEIN-CRAFT!

What do you call it when you build a second portal on Minecraft?

Anether(another) Nether

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Why did the chicken limp across the road?

Because it was a lame joke.

What do you call a running gag on crutches?

A lame joke.

Different Kind Jokes More Different Kind Jokes

How many different kinds of crabs can you get in Baltimore?

Two, and often from the same person.

Why does Germany have so many different kinds of bread?

Well, we had to do something with the ovens.

Latte Jokes More Latte Jokes

Why did the trekkie spit out her latte at the Star Trek Convention?

Cause William Shatner Coffee.

How do you make a latte?

Add $5 to a cup of coffee.

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

What caused Captain Morgan's shipwreck?

He was on the rocks.

Why did they go from Windows 8 to Windows 10?

Cause Seven ate Windows 9