Germany Jokes

Who pays?

Germany.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What's the difference between Phil Collins and Germany?

We stopped Germany.

Why does Germany have so many different kinds of bread?

Well, we had to do something with the ovens.

Why doesn't Coffee get along with milk in Germany?

Cause it doesn't want to be latte. Sorry. I just came up with this lame joke. Downvotes ahoy!

Why did France really surrender to Germany?

Just thought of this earlier in the shower... Had gas ever since.

What do you say when someone hands you a nice, ripe blunt in Germany?

Danke

Why did Germany lose WW2?

Three Reichs and you're out

What was the most popular TV show in Ancient Rome and Germany in early AD?

Whose Rhine Is It Anyway?

Why was the Turkey v Germany match called off?

There were too many fowls.

How do you call it, when the internet is not working in Germany?

InterNEIN

Why is Germany uninhabitable for cats?

They have nein lives!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What do you call Minecraft in Germany?

NEIN-CRAFT!

Why did Germany win so many battles in WW I?

They had baron.

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

What country are you most likely to get a disease?

GERMany.

Why are there no cats in Germany?

Because they have nein lives.

How many goals did Germany score?

A brazillian

Why is it hard to sell bibles in Germany?

Because it's a Nietzsche Market.

Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?

Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

What country is ill?

Germany.

How do you greet a slice of bread in Germany?

Gluten tag! Ba-dum tss.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Where do bacteria like to vacation?

Germany

What do you call a boyscout in WWII-era Germany?

A knotzi.

How disturbingly inappropriate would it be if "Thomas the Tank Engine" was set in early-1940s Germany?

ThomasDieKleineLokomotive

Which country has the nicest children?

Germany. German children are kinder.

Why don't nervous vegans visit Germany?

They fear the wurst!

What do you call riot police in Germany?

Kraut Control

Why couldn't Germany win a world war?

Because they'd Russia lot

Why did Snoop Dogg go to Germany?

For Schnitzel.

What do they call pastors in Germany?

A. German Shepherds.

What do you think is the biggest problem in Germany?

Uncertainty or indifference ' He answered: I don't know and I don't care!'

How many countries border Germany?

Nein!

How does Germany pay for all these refugees?

Krautfunding.

What s a Muslim s favorite cologne?

GERMANY!!!!

Why did Germany hold a ceremony for the Greek bankruptcy?

They wanted to give credit where credit was due.

What is Germany's favorite game?

Mein Kampf

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What do you call Minecraft in Germany?

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What do Muslim gamers say at the start of Ramadan?

Gotta go fast!

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What do you call it when the new US president waves his hand?

A microwave.

Whats the most handiest tool ever?

A Hand!

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Why does Mexico do so poorly in the Olympics?

Because everybody who can run, jump, or swim is already in America.

Why does Mexico never win the Olympics?

Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim already left.

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What's the difference between a bull and a cow?

A bull smiles when you milk it.

How do you stop ISIS?

Leave some milk in the sun for a few days.

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Where does Phil Collins record all of his music?

The stu-stu-studio.

Why was Phil Collins......never a good betting man?

Because he always went Against All Odds.

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Why is Jesus never able to finish more than half of a crossword puzzle?

He always gets stuck on across.

Why did the blonde get excited after finishing her puzzle in 6 months?

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Why did parking tickets increase after Persephone was kidnapped?

Demeter wasn't working.

How many Gordon Ramseys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, he lets the knives do the work