How can you tell if a person's a vegan?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

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I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.

They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

What did the groundhog's trainer tell him before the Olympics?

Gopher gold.

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How do you know if someone is a socialist?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Why did the chicken run across the road?

She was worried the egg would get there first.