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What's the difference between toilet paper and a knife?

Oh, you don't know I won't ask you to wipe my bum then.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and Charlie Sheen?

Charlie Sheen's winning.

What is the difference between a laddie and a lady?

One has a d where the other doesn't.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you call a seagull that knows martial arts?

Steven Seagull

Who knows about math and science and is always close by?

An engi-near!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Ryu say when I asked if I could have some of his food?

SHORYUKEN***

How many pixies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

Toilet Paper Jokes More Toilet Paper Jokes

Why is KFC always out of toilet paper?

Because it is Finger Lickin' Good.

Why did the Mummy go to the bathroom?

To wrap itself in toilet paper!

Knife Jokes More Knife Jokes

How many Gordon Ramseys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, he lets the knives do the work

Why do you carry a knife?

Me: A sword is harder to hide.

Bum Jokes More Bum Jokes

What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on?

It twerked.

What do you call Tums in suppository form?

Bums

Wipe Jokes More Wipe Jokes

Where did you learn to do that?

Don't wipe boogers on Mommy's pillow! Wipe it on Daddy's

How the rap feud started Me: can u invite all the rappers to my b'day party?

2pac: sure, no biggie Biggieeavesdropping: wipes tears