Bum Jokes

What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on?

It twerked.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

How does an Australian clean is bum?

Bidet, mate.

What do you call Tums in suppository form?

Bums

What's the difference between toilet paper and a knife?

Oh, you don't know I won't ask you to wipe my bum then.

How do you get stuck in an annoying conversation with a stranger?

Ask someone vaping if you can bum a cigarette.

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why do sandwiches never have kids?

Because they always turn out in-bread.

What did the Mexican student say when he was asked to turn in his essay?

I ain't no snitch.

Drum Jokes More Drum Jokes

What does a sheep, a drum, and a snake all say when falling off of a cliff?

Baa-Dum-Sss

What do you call a drum that causes problems?

A conundrum

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

Where'd you get that black eye?

Me: My girlfriend gave it to me. Him: I thought your girlfriend was out of town. Me: I did too...

What rhymes with Pistorius?

His girlfriend certainly ain't Morpheus.

Machine Jokes More Machine Jokes

What is my dentist's favorite indie band?

Fluoride and the Machine

Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine" c/o /u/jubileo5

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why was the egg late for work?

It ova slept.

What is in common between a napkin and a person?

If you sleep with a person, he/she is ur nap-kin.

Afghanistan Jokes More Afghanistan Jokes

How did I get out of Afghanistan?

Iran.

What's the difference between a Afghanistan wedding and a terrorist training camp?

Don't ask me, I'm just the drone pilot.

Twerke Jokes More Twerke Jokes

What is the hardest part of twerking?

Being black

What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on?

It twerked.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if you're in Detroit or across the river in Windsor Ontario Canada?

Stand in the middle of the street. If someone yells, "hey, get out of the street" you're in the US. If they yell, "get out of the street, eh" you're in Canada

What did the mole say when someone told him there were entire above-ground civilizations?

Holy moley, I didn't know that!