Machine Jokes

What is my dentist's favorite indie band?

Fluoride and the Machine

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on?

It twerked.

What machine should I use at the gym to impress girls?

The ATM

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They have a machine that does that now.

Why won't the machines just take over already?

I'm tired of doing stuff.

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because Eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)

Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine" c/o /u/jubileo5

What do you call a machine that automatically paddles your boat?

A row bot.

A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?"

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

You might also enjoy:

Drummer Jokes More Drummer Jokes

Why was the drummer sad about his boring instruments?

Because he had the doldrums.

What do you call a guy who hangs around a bunch of musicians?

A drummer!!!!!

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What's wrongdad?

Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left.

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?

I forgot to wet the soap.

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

What's yellow and goes around?

A banana in the washing machine.

What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What do you call a skeleton in fancy attire?

Fashionably late. I'll be here all week.

What are the strongest days of the week?

Saturday and Sunday...the rest are weekdays.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why should you use six hooks on your fishing line?

EFISHancy!

What did Obe Wan say to Skywalker when he was teaching him table manners?

Use the forks Luke.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why were all the girls looking at the piece of paper?

Because it was ripped.

What do you call a girl who plays tennis on her knees?

Courtney.

Good Machine Jokes More Good Machine Jokes

What's the best machine at the gym?

The vending machine.

What's the best machine I can use?

The trainer responds, "The ATM"

Surrey Jokes More Surrey Jokes

Where's the best place to apologise to someone?

Surrey.