A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?"

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why do dentists only want to be awarded with paper certificates?

They hate plaque buildup.

Where are the colored printers?

I said "Dude... it's 2014, you can use whichever printer you want"

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why did the hipster salmon not get to breed?

He didnt use the main stream

How can you tell if someone is ticklish?

You use test tickles

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why do men like golf so much?

It makes it possible for them to go from hole to hole with an iron in their hands.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs inside a volcano?

Anakin Skywalker. (Happy Geek Pride Day!)

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How many babies does it take to stop a puck?

Ask Subban from the Hans to find out

How does Sean Connery ask for Worchestershire sauce?

X-post from askreddit) Worsheshershershosh.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

Why did New York get all the lawyers, and New Jersey all the toxic waste sites?

New Jersey picked first.

How about Epidural Anesthesia?

I was like, 'Thanks, but I already picked a name.

Chick Jokes More Chick Jokes

What did the hen say to his bar pals?

Let's get some chicks!

How did the rooster get a lot of chicks?

A lot of good yolks!

Gym Jokes More Gym Jokes

Why do people go to the gym again?

Do they not know what a nap is

Why did the crow go to the gym?

To work on his caw strength.

Atm Jokes More Atm Jokes

Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine" c/o /u/jubileo5

Why did the Baker keep going to the ATM?

He kneaded the dough

Machine Jokes More Machine Jokes

Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine" c/o /u/jubileo5

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because Eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)

Facebook Jokes More Facebook Jokes

What's the alien version of Facebook?

Spacebook. (It's a terrible joke I know).

What I hated the most in Facebook?

See more

Impress Jokes More Impress Jokes

How do you impress a girl?

By growing up.

How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date?

Bring her flours

Beautiful Girl Jokes More Beautiful Girl Jokes

What is that the more you desire, the less you can get?

Beautiful girls.

What do you call a beautiful girl in Boston?

A tourist.

Trainer Jokes More Trainer Jokes

How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?

Hide their trainers.

Who's there! Caitlin! Caitlin who?

Caitlin you my trainers tonight I'm wearing them!