Why did the hipster salmon not get to breed?

He didnt use the main stream

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How do you stop your children from smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

How did 1337 Jesus escape his tomb?

X-Post from ProgrammerHumor) He used an encrypted key.

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How much water does a frog need to breed?

Knee-deep! Knee-deep! Knee-deep!

What do you call a family of redheads?

Gingerbread. Edit: This is more of an out-loud joke. So, maybe it'll help if it read: "Ginger-bred" instead.

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Why did the hipster salmon not get to breed?

He didnt use the main stream

How did the hipster drown?

By swimming in the main stream.