What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

This joke may have profanity.
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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

What did the annoyed husband tell his wife after she saw elk falling from the sky?

Sigh* That's not elk... That's just reindeer.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What's the water polo team's favorite song?

Smoke on the Water, because they are always getting roasted.

What did the old chimney say to the younger chimney?

You're too young to smoke!

Lube Jokes More Lube Jokes

How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What's the difference between Bad Jokes and Dad Jokes?

One starts with B and the otber starts with D

What's the worst thing about being a professional alligator wrestler?

You have to start off by being an amateur alligator wrestler.

Slow Jokes More Slow Jokes

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and use Lubricant.

Which rappers had a flow that could simultaneously speed up and slow down at the same time?

MC Escher

Apply Jokes More Apply Jokes

Why did you apply for this job?

Me: Because being broke and homeless didn't really call out to me.

What did Apply say to the iPhone 7?

Hit the road, Jack.